Dumbya, Dick and Laura on Air Force One

Duyba Bush, First Laura and Deadeye Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One.

George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."

Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 200 million people very happy."

If you're one of those 200 million, pass this on.

Why Does This District Court Judge Hate Our Freedom?

NEW YORK - A federal judge struck down parts of the revised USA Patriot Act on Thursday, saying investigators must have a court's approval before they can order Internet providers to turn over records without telling customers.

U.S. District Judge Victor Marrero said the government orders must be subject to meaningful judicial review and that the recently rewritten Patriot Act "offends the fundamental constitutional principles of checks and balances and separation of powers."

Just watch, by tonight, thugs from the National Security Agency, Department of Homeland Surveillance and the White House will have slipped bamboo shoots under the fingernails of this judge who put the constitution ahead of efforts to protect 'merika from non-existent threats.

And why does the judge hate our freedom? Well, he was appointed by Bill Clinton so he obviously puts the constitution ahead of Republic Party talking points. So its natural that he hates our freedom.

Whats most freightening however is that more than 70 percent of the judges in this country have been appointed by Repugnicans. Pray that the remaining 30 percent have strong hearts - at least until Al Gore takes office on January 20, 2009.

This Idiot Wants to Be President?

While working out just now I had the very difficult task of keeping my lunch down while listening to Fred Thompson pontificate on CNN. Probably the most hilarious thing this buffoon said was "there is something seriously wrong in America."

Yes, Fred, there is. Your party. Your party has dominated the legislative agenda since 1996. Your party has occupied the White House since 2001. Your party has illegally invaded a sovereign nation. Your party has bankrupted the Treasury of this country. Your party has turned its back on environmental protections. Your party has turned its back on the less fortunate. Your party has made this nation a laughing stock in the world community.

Yes, Fred, there is something seriously wrong in America. And you epitomize it.

I can't help but wonder how the Republic Party noise machine is going to deal with Fred's past history of being an attorney. And a defense attorney at that. This is especially curious given the fanaticism that the Republic Party devoted during the 2004 election year, to the fact that John Edwards is an attorney and was in fact a defense attorney.

I'm sure that Ann Coulter and the rest of the Hitler youth in the Republic Party will come out and strongly attack and undermine Fred Thompson because like John Edwards, he also is an attorney.

And I used to believe in "god" and the tooth fairy also.

Why The GOP's Gay Wing Is Forced to Hide in the Bathroom

It's time for Republicans to embrace their own gay wing and stop fueling the sickness of suppression that drives men like Larry Craig into airport bathroom stalls.

Priceless!

Rarely Does It Get Better Than This

Just when you think it is impossible for Keith Olberman to get any better, he gets better.

And so he is back from his annual surprise gratuitous photo-op in Iraq, and what a sorry spectacle it was. But it was nothing compared to the spectacle of one unfiltered, unguarded, horrifying quotation in the new biography to which Mr. Bush has consented.

As he deceived the troops at Al-Asad Air Base yesterday with the tantalizing prospect that some of them might not have to risk being killed and might get to go home, Mr. Bush probably did not know that, with his own words, he had already proved that he had been lying, is lying and will be lying about Iraq.

Watch the video here.

Another One Bites the Dust

I can't remember the name of the musical group from my era that sang the song "Oh Happy Day" but I'll bet they are singing it today on the great news that another family values, Christian, Repignian has bit the dust. Yes, porcine Karl Rove wannabe Paul Gillmor, an Ohio Repignican from the district near Toledo is tits up today. No doubt he died from choking on a fresh bundle of campaign contributions - maybe from Ted Haggard and Larry Craig?

WASHINGTON - Ohio Rep. Paul Gillmor, a Republican whose political career covered four decades, has died, party officials said. "Born, raised and educated in our home state of Ohio, Paul never lost sight of the reason he came to Congress — to serve this great institution and his constituents with dedication and distinction," House Republican Leader John Boehner, also of Ohio, said in a statement.

To be sure, Paul is a typical Repignican who refused to listen to an opinion other than his. Just last week at a public meeting in his home district, Paul objected to questions from constituents saying it was "his meeting."

Wrong, asshole. You worked for your constituents not the other way around. I guess Jack Abramoff and Grover Norquist didn't give you that information in your play book, huh?

I know its not a very loving thing to do being elated that a Repignican died, but what the hell. When Ann Coulter rescinds her desire to have Supeme Court justices offed, and when "christian" Pat Robertson rescinds his wish that the State Department be "nuked" then I will stop wishing ill on Repignicans. Until then all's fair in love and war, and I certainly don't love these bastards.

Good riddance Paul. May you burn in hell with the rest of your Repignican swine mates.

Brokeback Larry Craig May Not Resign After All

BOISE, Idaho - Sen. Larry Craig is reconsidering his decision to resign after his arrest in a Minnesota airport sex sting and may still fight for his Senate seat, his spokesman said Tuesday evening.

This is even better than we could have hoped for.

Not only overwrought with the pressures of getting busted for trying to get a knobber from a cop in the Minneapolis airport, Senator Larry "Brokeback" Craig is apparently also overrun with arrogance. Thinking he will come out smelling like a rose, Brokeback is hiring an attorney and may fight his guilty plea.

WTF?

First of all Senator Brokeback has obviously never been through a divorce. If he had been he'd realize that all you get when you hire an attorney is bills. But thats fine. Let him hire the F. Lee Bailey of sleaze and let him pay him a gazillion dollars. What a waste of time and money. But its Repignican money so thats ok.

Apparently Brokeback has forgotten that even if he gets his guilty plea overturned every "god"fearing Mormon in Idaho will remember that Larry was caught trying to get his knob polished. Usually if a guy tries to get his knob polished by another guy thats considered "gay" sex and the good family values "christians" in Idaho will have a fit knowing that their esteemed knobber Larry Craig is engaging in other than heterosexual activities (I wonder if Larry ever had his way with a sheep - and how would that affect the dynamics of Blowjobgate).

I hope Larry is arrogant enough to want to keep his seat in the Senate. The only way a Democrat will win that Senate seat is now with a crippled closeted gay guy occupying the seat.

So I say go for it Brokeback. Fight to keep your seat. Draw lots of attention to yourself. That will give that guy who told the story about you and him in a Union Station bathroom even more time to dig up dirt on you. So hang in there Brokeback. You are the best thing Democrats have going for us in taking your seat in 2008. Let arrogance over rule common sense. We want that Brokeback.

GAO Report : Iraq Misses 11 of 18 Benchmarks

WASHINGTON - Violence in Iraq remains high, fewer Iraqi security forces are capable of acting independently, and the Baghdad legislature has failed to reach major political agreements needed to curb sectarian violence, says a report released Tuesday.

Despite being told by the Chimp and others for ages that "real progress" is being made in Iraqnam, the Government Accountability Office (what an odd office to have in the Bush government!) now tells us that despite the United States pissing away more than 2 billion dollars a week and having killed nearly 4,000 American kids in the process, the Iraqi government that we support and prop up can only meet 39 percent of the benchmarks it was supposed to be evaluated against.

Thirty nine percent. When I was in college and even when I was teaching high school physics and biology, a grade of 39 percent was a failing grade. As in "you don't pass." Although that is synonomous with everything that has ever touched George Bush's fingers - failure - just watch what will happen next.

The lying little creep was in Iraqnam over the weekend starting the lies about how well everything is going in country (funny, he was on one military base for 6 hours but our sooth-sayer "president" could see real progress - get the barf bucket). Next will be an armada of up is down and black is white obfuscations of the horrible failure that Bush has brought on the Middle East and on the world.

Pundits like William Kristol and Thomas Friedman have been saying "give it six more months" for the last 48 months and nothing has changed. Undoubtedly those who stood behind Bush's failed policy the most will be saying "six more months" again. And we will continue to blow $2 billion a week and we will continue to kill American kids and we will continue to be the most loathed nation on earth because of this horses ass and his inability to admit his mistake.

39 percent of the benchmarks we set for Iraq. Thats failure.

The Uniter Unites Australia Against Him

SYDNEY (AFP) - After a surprise visit to Iraq, US President George W. Bush arrived in Sydney late Tuesday for a regional summit with the city locked down in the biggest security operation in Australian history.

Good on ya, mates. I only wish it had been 2,000,000 Aussies instead of just 20,000. Unfortunately the decider guy won't see the protests and Fox Opinion Network will not cover them so he will not know about the angst against him down under.

In 2004 when I was in Australia I asked many Aussies why they elected that pea-brained John Howard in response to their questions about why Bush was elected here. I easily answered that saying that Bush wasn't elected - the Supreme Court anointed him. The Aussies told me that John Howard's rise in politics there was a glaring example of what happens when ultra-conservative religious wackos get control of the agenda and try scaring everyone into submission.

I hope Howard winds up in the same war crimes trials with Bush and Cheney after he is thrown from office.

Bush Wouldn't Recognize the Truth If It Bit Him

At a fundraiser on Monday, President Bush claimed, “Do you realize that the United States is the only major industrialized nation that cut greenhouse gases last year?” But as the Washington Post notes, this statement isn’t actually true:

Kristen A. Hellmer, the spokeswoman for the White House Council on Environmental Quality, acknowledged afterward that the White House was unable to substantiate the claim.

“While it’s very likely to be the case that we are the only industrialized nation that cut absolute emissions, there is not directly comparable data because not all other nations take such a measurement,” she said by e-mail. “We are making sure the president is aware of that.”

The Never Ending Saga of Larry Craig

I now make it a point, on entering a public men's restroom to say out loud "I hope Larry Craig's not in here." Last evening in the Philadelphia airport I thought someone was going choke he laughed so hard.

But then there is this. Talk about hilarious.

Senator Craig's lengthy list of sexual indiscretions with men, it looked like a duck, walked like a duck, and quacked like a duck, so of course, Big Media and the Right Wing Noise Machine pronounced it...a swimming chicken. *"_Senator Craig isn't gay, he just sucks a lot of cock.That doesn't really make a guy gay, does it?"

Republican Culture of Corruption - 2007. So Far

This is just too good not to reproduce here. Make sure you share this with every Repignican hyena who brings up how bad Bill Clinton is for getting a couple sloppy blowjobs. And remember this is the same group of nitwits who Tom DeLay addressed so fervently at the 2000 convention saying "We ARE the party of god". Yeah, right, Tom. Now go take your medicine.

Does it seem like there's a new Republican scandal in the news every single week? Well, that may be because there is:

January 23, 2007: Republican radio personality Scott Eller Cortelyou of Denver arrested on suspicion of using the Internet to lure a child into a sexual relationship

January 29, 2007: Republican former Jefferson County, Colorado, Treasurer Mark Paschall indicted on two felony charges "in connection with an allegation that Paschall solicited a kickback from a bonus he awarded one of his employees"

January 31, 2007: Republican Congressman Gary Miller is named by Republicans as ranking member of oversight subcommittee of House Financial Services Committee despite the FBI's investigation into his land deals

February 14, 2007: Major Republican fundraiser Brent Wilkes and former CIA executive director Kyle "Dusty" Foggo are indicted by a grandy jury for corrupting CIA contracts

February 16, 2007: Major Republican donor Abdul Tawala Ibn Ali Alishtari, aka Michael Mixon, is indicted in federal court on charges of providing material support to terrorists

March 5, 2007: Ethics complaint filed against Republican Senator Pete Domenici for his role in the Attorney Purge scandal

March 6, 2007: I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, former chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney found guilty of obstruction of justice and perjury

March 8, 2007: Republican former U.S. Congressman and Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich admits to extramarital affair

March 23, 2007: Former Deputy Interior Secretary J. Steven Griles, an oil and gas lobbyist who became an architect of George W. Bush's energy policies, pleads guilty to obstructing justice by lying to a Senate committee

March 27, 2007: Criminal charges filed against Republican Pennsylvania State Senator Robert Regola in connection with the death of a teenage neighbor who was shot with the senator's gun; he is accused of three counts of perjury, allowing possession of a firearm by a minor, recklessly endangering another person and false swearing

March 27, 2007: Ronald Reagan's budget director, David Stockman, "indicted on charges of defrauding investors and banks of $1.6 billion while chairman of Collins & Aikman Corp., an auto parts maker that collapsed days after he quit"

March 28, 2007: Robert Vellanoweth, a Republican activist and appointee of Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, is arrested on suspicion of gross vehicular manslaughter and felony driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, after a crash that killed three adults and one child

April 18, 2007: The FBI raids the home of Republican Congressman John Doolittle, investigating his ties to Jack Abramoff

April 19, 2007: The FBI raids a business tied to the family of Republican Congressman Rick Renzi, as part of an investigation into his business dealings

April 23, 2007: The FBI questions Republican Congressman Tom Feeney about his dealings with Jack Abramoff

April 23, 2007: Federal auditors find repeat violations of federal election law from the 2004 Senate campaign of Republican Senator Mel Martinez

April 26, 2007: David Huckabee, son of Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, is arrested at an Arkansas airport after a federal X-ray technician detected a loaded gun in his carry-on luggage

May 4, 2007: Bruce Weyhrauch and Pete Kott, former Alaska state Republican legislators, were arrested and accused of soliciting and accepting bribes from the corrupt VECO Corporation

May 4, 2007: Republican state Assemblyman Michael Cole is censured and stripped of his leadership position after the married father of two spent the night at a 21-year-old intern's apartment

May 11, 2007: A field coordinator for Republican Congressman Patrick McHenry is indicted for voter fraud in North Carolina

May 12, 2007: NBC News breaks the story that the FBI is investigating Republican Nevada Governor Jim Gibbons for suspicion of accepting bribes in exchange for securing government contracts

May 15, 2007: Connecticut Republican Party Chairman Chris Healy is arrested for drunk driving (he pled no contest on June 1, but didn't publicly disclose the event until June 11)

May 18, 2007: Republican former South Dakota State Representative Ted Klaudt is charged with eight counts of second-degree rape, two counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, one count of sexual contact with a child younger than 16, two counts of witness tampering and one count of stalking against two foster children in his care

May 21, 2007: Republican state Senate candidate Mark Tate is indicted on nine counts of perjury and two counts of election fraud by a grand jury

June 11, 2007: Republican Senator Larry Craig is arrested for lewd conduct in the men's bathroom of an airport

June 19, 2007: South Carolina Republican state Treasurer and South Carolina Chairman of Giuliani for President Thomas Ravenel is indicted by a grand jury on cocaine distribution charges

July 2, 2007: President George W. Bush commutes the sentence of former Cheney Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby following Libby's conviction on obstruction of justice and perjury

July 3, 2007: A grand jury report declares that the sale of public land to Republican Congressman Ken Calvert and his business partners violated the law

July 11, 2007: Republican state Representative and Florida co-Chairman of McCain for President Bob Allen is arrested for soliciting a male undercover police officer, offering to pay $20 to perform oral sex

July 16, 2007: Republican Senator David Vitter holds press conference acknowledging being on the D.C. Madam's list and past involvement with prostitutes

July 16, 2007: Story breaks that Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski was involved in a sweetheart real estate deal

July 19: Republican former state legislator Coy Privette is charged with six counts of aiding and abetting prostitution

July 24, 2007: Michael Flory, former head of the Michigan Federation of Young Republicans, pleads guilty to sexual abuse

July 26, 2007: Media report that Republican Senator Lisa Murkowski will sell back land purchased in a sweetheart deal, following close scrutiny of the shady transaction

July 29, 2007: Glenn Murphy Jr., recently-elected Chairman of the Young Republican National Federation, is accused of sexually assaulting a sleeping man

July 30, 2007: The FBI and IRS raid the home of Republican Senator Ted Stevens following investigations into Stevens' dealings with the corrupt VECO Corporation

August 2, 2007: Bush administration senior adviser Karl Rove disregards a Congressional subpoena and refuses to testify before the Senate Judiciary Committee

August 6, 2007: Investigation called for after House Republican Leader John Boehner leaked classified information regarding a secret court ruling over warrantless wiretapping

August 8, 2007: Republican Senator Larry Craig pleads guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct following his June 11 arrest

August 9, 2007: Major Republican donor Alan Fabian is charged with 23 counts of bankruptcy fraud, mail fraud, money laundering, obstruction of justice, and perjury

August 15, 2007: Republican state House candidate Angelo Cappelli is arrested for perjury and grand theft

August 22, 2007: Republican political consultant Roger Stone resigns his role with the New York state Senate Republicans after reports surfaced that he made a "threatening, obscenity-laced" phone call to the 83-year-old father of Governor Eliot Spitzer

August 27, 2007: Story breaks that Republican Senator Larry Craig was arrested and pled guilty - he had not publicly disclosed the events to that point

That seems like an awful lot of corruption, scandal, hypocrisy, impropriety, and jail-worthy crime, huh? A lot of corruption. One might say an entire Culture of Corruption.

Congressman Doug Lamborn (R-CO) - The Face of Compassionately Conservative Family Values

These sick bastards are certainly going downhill at a rapid rate.

Read this about Dougie from the Denver Post regarding this compassionately conservative family values Christian etc etc. By now we know the mantra.

Chimpy Makes "Surprise" Visit to Iraqnam

Once again, with the Chimp's poll numbers almost as low as Darth Cheney's, he burns up $65,000 an hour to fly his carcass to Iraqnam for a photo op with some poor souls in danger of being wiped out in response to his failed policies there.

The headline on this story "Bush Makes War Assessment" is hilarious in its transparency. Bush made his war assessment long before he left on this latest failed trip to bolster his ego. This is the fool who in 2004 said that he had not made one mistake in his first termn. Who in their right mind would think that by now with nearly 4,000 American kids killed for his lies, Bush would make an assessment of his little war that was anything but rosy?

Yesterday afternoon I was watching CNN in the Grand Bahama International Airport departure lounge. Much of the coverage was about Bush and his latest chest pounding. I was encouraged to see people listen to him for a minute and then turn away, almost always laughing or shaking their heads or both.

Bush chickened out on going to Vietnam and now makes kids in Iraqnam his props for the latest show of pictures to make him seem like a continuing tough son of a bitch. Only 505 more days of this fool and then, hopefully, its off to the Hague for his war crime trial.

Its Not Always Better in the Bahamas, Mon

This post has nothing to do with politics but I had to post it anyway.

When I first started traveling in the Bahamas in 1984, the Bahamas Tourism Association (or whatever it was called then) had as its motto for the country "Its Better in the Bahamas." They never defined "it" so I have spent time over the last 23 years trying to discover the better it. Working in and traveling throughout the islands in the mid-1980s my erstwhile assistant and I made jokes about trying to find a better it and I devote a portion of one of the early chapters in my book Somewhere South of Miami to our quest for a better It. Over time it's something that has escaped me.

Although I've never found out what it was better, I learned this past weekend one of the things on Grand Bahama island that isn't a better it. Its called the Port Lucaya Resort and Yacht Club near the Grand Bahama Marketplace in Lucaya. A summary of the experience follows from this email sent to some friends when I returned last night from the island:

I stayed, as usual, at the Port Lucaya Resort and Yacht Club next door to the Lucayan Marketplace. This is an older hotel that used to be a bargain. I'll not stay there again.

I checked in on Saturday night and went to the Marketplace for dinner. I returned about 8:00 pm and was reading the Nassau Guardian when there was a hellacious crash against my door. I wondered what it was until there was a second crash accompanied by some swearing in pigeon Bahamian that I did not understand. After the second wallop of the door I yelled at the clown and suggested that he go away.

This brought on an even harder hit on the door - to the point that the door frame was damaged. I was standing by the door at this point and when the door frame bulged I slammed back on the door and yelled a few deleted explicatives. This seemed to chill out the nitwit on the other side of the door and he apparently left.

I picked up the phone and called the front desk. They answered but could not hear me. I called back and again I could hear them but they could not hear me. I packed my stuff in my bag and went to the front desk to tell them that I had almost had my room entered by someone.

The first thing the person behind the counter asked was "was he drunk"?? How the hell would i know? I couldn't smell the guy's breath or did I want to. She called the ineffective "security" guard who walked with me back to my room (806) and then walked with me to my new room 609 where I slept with one eye open all night long.

This is the third time I've been in a room that someone has tried to break into. First was the hotel in Santiago Dominican Republic in March 1985 when Chris Haney and I were crashed there after a hard night of drinking dominican beer. I think this one was legitimate and the person just missed his room and chose ours. The second was in downtown San Juan Puerto Rico at the Best Western where, at 11 in the evening, someone broke the door in and was trying to enter. I slammed the door against his left forearm and distinctly remember hearing bone break. He beat it down the stairs with me chasing him. The front desk people were non-plussed and less than helpful.

Then there was this incident.

The Port Lucaya is across the street from the violently expensive Westin and the not as badly priced Sheraton. Like the Lucaya these two hotels are next door to the zillions of restaurants at the Lucaya Marketplace - the only reason to stay in this area. Next time I go back to Grand Bahama, mon, I'm staying at the Sheraton for $20 a night more. its safer and I wont have to worry about random drunks trying to kick in the freaking door!

I sent a similar report to Trip Advisor but they have not posted it.

Anyway, after all this time in the Bahamas, the little incident on Saturday night put Grand Bahama on a different level for me. I remember when I first started traveling there the front page of the Nassau Guardian used to have a colum once a week titled "Muggings and Robberies" that summarized the latest illegalities on New Providence. Thats to be expected in Nassau, but not on Grand Bahama. Oh well, the Port Lucaya used to be a nice place to hang out.