Friday, February 15, 2008
How a Repignofascist in Tennessee Views the "New" Rape
Yup. Family values. They certainly aren't what they used to be either.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Another Proud Day for the National Rifle Association
DEKALB, Ill. - A gunman opened fire in a lecture hall at Northern Illinois University on Thursday, injuring as many as 15 people before he was killed, authorities said. DeKalb Police Lt. Gary Spangler told the student newspaper the Northern Star that the gunman was dead. It was not immediately clear how he died.Yup. Its days like today that make National Rifle Association members want to cream their jeans knowing that nobody is going to pry their gun from their cold dead hands. Charlton Heston is likely at home jerking off with excitement right now.
And aren't all of these students at Northern Illinois University happy that they have a stalwart group like the NRA defending the rights of a crackpot to carry a gun into a class room and starting shooting at will. Or Ed. Or John. Or Brianna. Or whomever else steps in the line of fire.
Yup, its a glorious day for the well armed milita.
Aussie Humor, Mate
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour
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Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )
A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ...
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal .
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male popula tion? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? ( USA )
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first
Ethics Panel Says Senator Wide Stance Acted "Improperly"
WASHINGTON - The Senate Ethics Committee said Wednesday that Idaho Sen. Larry Craig acted improperly in connection with a men's room sex sting last year and had brought discredit on the Senate.
In a letter to the Republican senator, the ethics panel said Craig's attempt to withdraw his guilty plea after his arrest at a Minneapolis airport was an effort to evade legal consequences of his own actions.
In other words, Larry, your Senate colleagues, including three fellow Repignofascists, concur with the court and the arresting officer that you were trying to get your knob polished that day in the MSP airport. They also concur that your actions afterward were designed solely to cover your well-used ass from public scrutiny (that doesn't mean you did not want you ass scrutinized in private, however).
In typical righteous Repignofascist fashion, you blew off the ethics panel findings and act like nothing happened. Of course had a Democratic Senator been caught trying to get his knob polished in the MSP airport you'd be leading the chorus of righteousness demanding his resignation.
The good news, however, is that because of this incident you've read the handwriting on the wall and will not be back for another term. What are your plans for retirement Larry? Maybe move to Florida and open a consulting firm with Mark Foley designed to protect children from online sex predators? Maybe you'll have your offices in a men's room?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Today's Forehead Slapper from John McBush
Check this out. The Senate voted 51 - 45 today to ban waterboarding.
The forehead slapper? Remember all the huffing and puffing "straight talk" McBsuh has done over torture, and specifically his principled stand against waterboarding? Well, the big Hero, Senator Consistency, Senator Straight Talk Himself, voted NO, voted to ALLOW waterboarding!
Yep. But, hey, that's not pandering, is it? That's not being a hypocrite, is it? And, it's certainly not being a dirty lying repignofascist, is it? Why, NO, of course not!!! I didn't think so!
And, by the way, where were our fine Democratic presidential candidates? Well, this vote, as with yesterday's FISA vote, won by the Fascists, was just not important enough for them, Clinton and Obama, to make it back to the Senate for a vote. At least, Senator Straight Talk managed to make it back. Gotta give him that much. He's a lying sack of shit, but he made it back to vote.
Important Information from the Parrothead Nation
Some earth-shatteringly important information from the nerve center of the Parrothead nation in Key West can be found here.
Fins to the left.
US Welcomes Death of Hezbollah Militant
WASHINGTON - The State Department said on Wednesday it welcomes the reported death of the suspected mastermind of attacks on the U.S. Embassy and U.S. Marine barracks in Lebanon in the 1980s.Hmmm. Doesn't that headline seem a tad strange to you??
The State Department is the Bush Administration. Bush has talked extensively about the sanctity of life and waxed poetic about how all life is precious. The Bush Administration is also the standard bearer for the Repignofascist Party - itself the political party that has called itself the "Party of Life."
Ithought the Repignofascist Party was Pro-Life and would go all out to keep a woman alive who was in an irreversible vegetative state because life is "sacred." I thought the Repignofascist Party was the party that opposed stem cell research because they claim that a single cell is human "life." I thought life was "sacred" and "precious" and whatever other word they can dream up to pull at the heart strings of sheep-like voters. If what they have been saying is true, then how can this same political party and the same Administration "welcome" the death of someone?
I guess this means they are pro-life only if its a life they approve of?
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Credit One Bank - A Rip-Off Credit Card Company
Several months ago I accepted an offer from Credit One Bank for yet another unnecessary credit card.
This was in following with Dwight Lee's warped philosophy of having as many credit cards as possible, running the totals up to the maximum, and then paying only the minimum payment each month, and not worrying about it because if you die tomorrow you wont have to pay. Dwight died with 16 credit cards maxed out - and with a huge smirk on his face I'm sure.
When I received my first bill I set things up to make online payments through my bank account. The first month's bill was $100 and I paid that. When I went to check online to see if the payment had been posted I noted that it had been but that my outstanding balance was $5.95. WTF? I called Credit One and learned that when you pay online they assess you a $5.95 "convenience fee" so it stood to reason (from their point of view) that I should have a $5.95 charge. This is in addition to the 21 percent interest the thieving bastards charge on purchases. It didn't seem to matter to Credit One that there are zero administrative costs involved in me or anyone else sending payments electronically. Nope. Never let reality get in the way of corporate thievery.
So, after that initial surprise I started adding $5.95 to the bill and it still doesn't go away. For instance. lets say my next bill was $195.95. I would authorize a payment of 105.95 thinking this would take care of the sure-to-be-assessed $5.95 "convenience fee." I"ll be damned. When I get my next bill the 105.95 has been credited to my account but I owe them 95.95 because of the freaking convenience fee added to online payments.
I think the only way to get away from this feeling of being in the movie Groundhog Day with Credit One is to pay the last and final payment with a check and cancel the card so they can't keep charging me for my "convenience."
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
Welcome to Our Sieg Heil Nation
Nabila Mango, a therapist and a U.S. citizen who has lived in the country since 1965, had just flown in from Jordan last December when, she said, she was detained at customs and her cellphone was taken from her purse. Her daughter, waiting outside San Francisco International Airport, tried repeatedly to call her during the hour and a half she was questioned. But after her phone was returned, Mango saw that records of her daughter's calls had been erased.This is simply astounding. We have truly crossed the line to fascism. The Chimp has recreated the Gestapo and Waffen SS. Imagine all the dead U.S. soldiers in WWII cemeteries across Europe spinning in their graves.
A few months earlier in the same airport, a tech engineer returning from a business trip to London objected when a federal agent asked him to type his password into his laptop computer. "This laptop doesn't belong to me," he remembers protesting. "It belongs to my company." Eventually, he agreed to log on and stood by as the officer copied the Web sites he had visited, said the engineer, a U.S. citizen who spoke on the condition of anonymity for fear of calling attention to himself.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Paying Additional Federal Taxes in 2007
I just ran through Turbo Tax and discovered that in addition to the $19,833 in Federal tax with held from my salary in 2007 I had to pay an additional $87 this year. Being liberal I dont care about paying taxes - tax the hell out of me as long as it goes to an important cause or function like protection of the earth or helping those who need help or to restoring the name of the United States within the world community.
After finishing my state and federal taxes but before licking the stamp to send the additional dollars to Treasury I wrote the following letter and sent it with my payment to the IRS. I'm sure they will heed the words I have written but even if they dont, well fuck them. If you are unfortunate enough to have to pay additional taxes for 2007, you might consider sending a similar letter with your check.
February 7, 2008
United States Department of the Treasury
Internal Revenue Service Center
Atlanta, Georgia 39901-0114
Dear Internal Revenue Service
Attached to my Form 1040EZ is a check for $87.00 to cover the additional taxes I owe above and beyond the $19,833.02 in Federal taxes that were taken out of my check through payroll deductions throughout the year.
That means my total Federal tax paid in 2007 was $19920.02. I thought Bush’s tax cuts were supposed to help the middle class. Oh, wait. I’m wrong. His tax cuts help only the top 1 percent of Americans. How silly of me to forget.
With this letter and my additional payment of $87.00 for a total of $19920.02 paid to the Treasury this year I have a simple request.
NONE of these funds are to be used by the Failure in Chief in the White House or any of his clones to facilitate the killing of one more American kid in Iraq. NONE of these funds are to be used by the Failure in Chief in the White House or any of his clones to kill more innocent Iraqis by American forces. NONE of these funds are to be used to transport another American kid from any military base to any post in the world where Bush claims we are fighting his war on “turism.” Furthermore, NONE of these funds are to be used by the Department of Homeland Surveillance to harass travlers at airports. NONE of these funds are to be used by the Department of Homeland Surveillance or the National Security Agency to listen in on private phone calls between law abiding citizens just because the Failure in Chief thinks they might be a turist. NONE of these funds are to be used by the CIA or any other agency to torture innocent Arabic people sequestered without habeas corpus at Guantanamo Bay Cuba. NONE of these funds are to be used by any cretin in the Justice Department who wants to jerk around sitting United States Attorney’s who are deemed to not be loyal Bushies.
In fact, NONE of these $19920.02 are to be used for any purpose other than to help the less fortunate in this country. That’s the purpose of government – to help people – not to turn the nation into a god damned police state.
Thanks for passing this message on to the Failure in Chief. Luckily for America one year from today that bastard will be out of office and hopefully in the Hague Netherlands where he will be sitting in his war crimes trial with Cheney, Rumsfeld, Feith, Rice, Wolfowitz and the rest of those deceitful creeps.
Come to think of it IRS, I want all of my taxes paid in 2007 to be applied to prosecuting Bush and the rest of the criminals in his administration. OK?
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