A Letter to the Decider

Rather than emailing the Chimp, I sent him the following letter (with enclosure) this evening via snail mail. I should have used larger font so he could absorb some of the tougher words. I'll remember to do that next time.



January 17, 2007

George Bush, resident
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington DC 20500

Dear resident Bush

I can imagine with the entire world hating you because of your bungled failure in Iraqnam you must find it difficult to get in a chuckle or two each day. After your disastrous showings on the PBS News Hour and on 60 Minutes even Barney is lifting his Scottish leg and pissing on your foot. Its got to be tough being the decider, huh, Dumbya?

Well, you moron, I’m providing you with a little pick-me-up in the form of the enclosed bumper sticker. There are some big words on here, including one tri-syllabic word called “Impeachment” so you will probably need help from Laura to understand its meaning. Maybe if you read it really slowly you might understand what it says? Lets try. K? The bumper sticker says Impeachment - Its Not Just For Blowjobs Anymore.” That’s referring to you, Dumbya. Lying to the world about non-existent weapons of mass destruction in Iraqnam is more of a Constitutionally-proscribed “high crimes and misdemeanor” than is a sloppy blowjob under the oval office desk.

I would love it if you would have one of your GS-15 flunkies put this bumper sticker on the back of your black limo so you can spread the word about your upcoming impeachment, trial, and removal from office just like I am doing with the same bumper sticker on my car. In case you like this bumper sticker as much as I do, you can have Laura, or Barney, go to this website to order more:

http://www.cafepress.com/designedforyou.42760658

Maybe being the down home beer drinking kind of guy you are, Dumbya, you might want to pass these bumper stickers out to visitors on the daily White House tours? Or how about giving them to your cabinet members? Too bad Bucky Norton isn’t still around so you could watch her gnaw on one for you. You might also want to consider putting one of these bumper stickers next to the door of Helicopter 1 and Air Force 1 so each time you slither out of town you are reminded about your high crimes and your impending trail in the Senate. Are you having Tony Snow or someone work on your resignation speech yet? I’ll resend the one I wrote for you in June 2001 if you promise to use it before your trial. It’s the ‘Merikun thing to do, isn’t it, decider guy?

And, Dumbya, what do you think of the stamp I used to mail this letter and bumper sticker? Two birds obviously kissing each other. Word from the Postal Service is that they birds are gay. I thought you would appreciate that extra touch.