Life Is Tough When You're Stupid

I'll bet everyone of these people watches Faux News and listens to Rush Limbaugh also.

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

Police in Radnor , Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine . The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!

Life is tough.


It's tougher if you're stupid.

Email to Senator Joe Loserman

(click on the post title for the article)
Yo Joe

In the following piece reported at http://thinkprogress.org you talk about the "significant progress" being made in Iraqnam.

If the progress has been "significant" why are you wearing external body armor and why is there a helmet on your head? Seems to me if there was significant progress you'd be walking around in sandals and shorts sipping a mai tai while Iraqi prostitutes are clammoring to get their lips on your 2 inch dick.

Speaking for all of us who put the welfare of America above all else, why dont you stop your charade as a Democrat and switch parties? You are a disgrace to every real Democrat out there. Any chance you can get a blowjob from Monica Lewinsky so you can be impeached?

Shalom, asshole

Letter to the Editor - Washington Post

(click on my post title for the Washington Post article)
Dear Washington Post Editor

In today's Washington Post, Dana Milbank asks this quesiton about Al Gore "Is it wise to be so smart?" http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/29/AR2007052902038.html?sub=AR

After the last six years the answer is a resounding "yes." Hopefully we the people learned that having someone as your leader who is portrayed as "a guy you could have a beer with" isn't wise.

I want my next President to be smart enough not to deceive the nation into an intractible war. I want my next President to be someone who won't strut around saying he's going to "smoke em out and get em" and then six months later says, about the same criminal, "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." - G.W. Bush, 3/13/02

I want for my next President someone who is smart enough not to play frat boy tricks on the leader of another nation (Germany) and wise enough to cultivate long term positive relationships with other nations. Mostly I want someone who is wise enough to admit when he has made a mistake and smart enough to seek a different course.

Yes, Mr Milbank, it is wise to be so smart. And the last 6 years have taught we the people to be a lot smarter about who we choose to be our leader. He spoke last night at the Lisner Auditorium at George Washington University.

Life In the Laid Back Lane

(click on post title for the link)

Anyone who has spent much time somewhere south of the Tropic of Cancer down to the Tropic of Capricorn knows that things move a little slower in the tropics, mon. The mystique of the slower life style is part of what draws so many people to the Tropics each year.

Now, through the research described below we have evidence that even tropical birds have adapted to a slower life style in the laid back lane, mon. Enjoy!

PNAS | May 29, 2007 | vol. 104 | no. 22 | 9340-9345
Tropical birds have a slow pace of life

Popko Wiersma, Agustí Muñoz-Garcia, Amy Walker, and Joseph B.
Williams

Tropical birds are relatively long-lived and produce few offspring,which develop slowly and mature relatively late in life, the slow end of the life-history axis, whereas temperate birds lie at the opposite end of this continuum. We tested the hypothesis that tropical birds have evolved a reduced basal metabolic rate (BMR). We measured BMR of 69 species of tropical birds, the largest data set amassed on metabolic rates of tropical birds, and compared these measurements with 59 estimates of BMR for temperate birds. Our analyses included conventional least squares regression, regressions based on phylogenetic independent contrasts, and a comparison of BMR of 13 phylogenetically matched pairs, one species from the tropics and one from northerly temperate areas. Our triptych showed that tropical birds had a reduced BMR, compelling evidence for a connection between the life history of tropical birds and a slow pace of life. Further, tropical migrants breeding in temperate habitats had a lower BMR than did temperate residents, suggesting that these migrants have physiological traits consistent with a slow pace of life. In addition, we determined that tropical birds had a lower cold-induced peak metabolic rate and thermogenic metabolic scope than temperate species, a finding that is consistent with the hypothesis that their environment has not selected for high levels of thermogenesis, or alternatively, that a slow pace of life may be incompatible with high thermogenic capacity. We conclude that physiological function correlates with the suite of life-history traits.

Desperate Iraqi Refugees Turn to Sex Trade in Syria

(click on the post title for the story)
This is a nice family value to have sprung up from the Iraq War perpetrated and administered by the family values party.

Heckuva job, Dubya.

Thank You "God"

Thank you, God, for the strong leadership of George W. Bush, and for the gasoline to drive 10 m.p.g. SUVs. Thank you, God, for an uninterrupted flow of oil, and for the strength of our leader who carries out your desire to see that we have as much gas as we desire.

Thank you, God, for first making George W. Bush the governor of Texas where he stood steadfast in support of capital punishment, carrying out God's vengeance even on people with the mental capacity of children.

Thank you, God, and thank you, Jesus, for sparing the president and the vice president from service in Viet Nam where those irreplaceable lives might have been lost, depriving us of their leadership now, in this our hour of need.

Thank you, God, for keeping the Bush children and the Cheney children far from the fighting so that the president's resolve is not shaken, and he can continue to be patient as he awaits that glorious day when his policies bear fruit in Iraq.

Thank you, God, for all the Bush apostles who spread the faith to the multitudes, Thank you for Rush, and Sean, and Michael Savage. Thank you for Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter and all the earthly angels and archangels who bring Your word to the flock and to the pagans alike each and every day. Thank you for Fox News and Rupert Murdoch and all who stand against The New York Times and the other ungodly voices of the liberal media.

Thank you, God, for the fear that has allowed President Bush to wield your divine power so effectively. Thank you for the attacks against our nation on September 11th, 2001, and thank you for focusing those attacks on New York, that bastion of wickedness and liberalism.

Thank you, God, for the punishment you bestowed upon our nation for its tolerance of homosexuals and feminists that thus invited your wrath. And thank you, God, for sending Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson to explain your actions on the days immediately following the deaths of those whose lives were forfeited to bring us the news of your displeasure.

Thank you, God, for Halliburton, and its subsidiaries, including Kellogg, Brown and Root. Thank you, God, for all they do in the war against the infidels. Thank you for rewarding them with no-bid contracts, and making their executives ever more wealthy so they know your blessings are upon them.

Thank you, God, for the rectitude you have bestowed upon our leader, George W. Bush, and for keeping him from hearing all the voices that might cause him doubt. Thank you for his lack of curiosity, and thank you for his disinclination to read newspapers, or to consult any sources that might trouble his God-given resolve.

Thank you, God, for guiding George W. Bush to spare stem cells from destruction at the hands of godless scientists.

Thank you, God, for helping George Bush and the Republicans to keep the minimum wage fixed and in place for the entire time he has been in office, thus helping ensure that the poor will, indeed, always be with us.

Thank you, God, for allowing George Bush to deny birth control information to women throughout the Third World.

Thank you, God, for giving President Bush the wisdom to see that nothing good can come from direct dialogue with Satanic forces like those represented by Kim Jong Il of North Korea, or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran.

Thank you, God, for staying the hand and stilling the voice of George W. Bush regarding the genocide in Darfur.

Thank you, God, for the goodness and mercy shown by George W. Bush in his ongoing crusade to make torture an element of U.S. policy. Thank you for waterboarding, and for secret rendition, and for Abu Ghraib, and Git-Mo. Thank you for the suspension of Habeas Corpus and all those other ungodly left wing plots against American security and our God-given right to do as we must when we feel our safety might be compromised.

Thank you, God, for allowing more than 3,400 young American men and women to give up their lives in a cause so much greater than themselves, and to perish in service to the man you sent to lead them. Thank you for sending them to a country far from home, as they fight a war for reasons best known only to you and to your servants, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and the rest of that band of stewards. Bless all these Christian soldiers in the war against evil.

Thank you, God, for more than half a million Iraqi dead, all those men, women, and children who have died in the violence unleashed by the Bush invasion of that nation. Thank you for smiting them and making them pay for the dastardly attack on America in the year 2001, though they be innocent of all crimes. Thank you for the resolve you have given our president in guiding him not to cut and run, and to stay the course, but with flexibility, until victory is achieved in that benighted country, whatever victory might be, whatever victory might look like, and whatever costs must be paid to achieve it.

Give him strength, O Lord, as his critics now circle him and smite him from every side. Allow him the strength to stay the course, though he be sorely tried.

We thank thee, Lord, in your son's name, for George W. Bush and the manifold blessings brought forth through his heaven-sent leadership.

For these and all other blessings, we thank thee, Lord.

Amen.

Thanks For The Memories, Bill and Al

Implosion of the Repugnicans

This story from the New Yorker (click on the post title to read it) is extremely instructive. It has taken these arrogant fuckers a long time to get to the point where their party, their influence, and their members are all imploding. And its such a beautiful sight. Couldn't happen to a larger and more deserving group of hypocrites.

Read the story and chuckle along with me. I'm still hoping for a 435-0 super majority in the House after the 2008 election, and a 70-30 majority in the Senate. Of course with Al as President.

This story gives me hope that it can happen.

Minds

Responding to a Loud Mouth

A friend of mine sent me an email she had received from a loud mouth complaining that immigrants and Democrats are ruining the country. I just spent the last hour responding to the idiot...that response follows....


In the misinformed and intellectually challenged diatribe below we are led to believe by the author that among other things "immigrants" are the problem in this country. We are also led to believe that Democrats are the basis for much of what is wrong in this country as well. All of this goes on while the diatribe's author conveniently forgets to point out that for the last very long six years a man-child in the White House who happens to be a Repugnican has masqueraded as "president" and it was that man-child's political party (the REpugnicans) who had control of both chambers of the Congress since 1995 (12 years) who have put in place many if not all of the policies about which the author whines.

The first topic, "immigrants" is particularly laughable. Unless the author or anyone of those in his cc list are native american, then EVERY ONE OF US is the product of an "immigrant"

You cant escape that fact. We are all immigrants in this country or the product of immigrants. Would you suggest that all of us be "sent back" to where our genes originated? Who will be the first among you to volunteer? I hear that Serbia and Croatia are beautiful this time of year. Who goes back first?

There was a large immigrant march in DC in 2006 that I attended. One of the best signs I saw there read "If You Send Us Back Who Will Build Your Wall?" If immigrants are such a bane on our existence, who is going to pick your vegetables? Who will run your convenience stores? Who will do your lawn maintenance? Who will be the nanny for your children? Who will pass out fat-laden burgers at McDonalds for you? Do you think white skinned Americans are going to leap up and accept those jobs that keep the country running?? if they would take them, there would be no reason for the immigrants to want to come here...there would be no jobs. I suggest that each and everyone of you who complains about immigrants quit your jobs in factories or as sales reps or working for a government agency and take a job picking peaches in Georgia or working for a lawn care service so we dont have an abundance of jobs to attract immigrants in the first place. Its either that or keep your mouths shut about the issue. Be part of the solution not a continuation of the problem.

In a recent poll published in the New York Times http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/25/us/25poll.html?pagewanted=print 66 percent of Repugnicans favored the current immigration bill that provides amnesty for illegals. Those of you, the author included are in the minority of your minority view if you resist immigration reform. But again, the solution is up to you. Give up your citizenship and move back to where your ancestors came from - or shut up.

The author also rants and raves about how "Democrats" are ruining the country. I think you need to be aware of a few pertinent points on that issue.

When he first took office in 1993, Bill Clinton was faced with a huge budget deficit - a deficit created by out of control spending by two Repugnican presidents, Ronald Raygun and Daddy Bush. Yet by fiscal year 2000 the united states had a budget surplus of $230 BILLION dollars. This topped the previous year budget surplus of $122.7 BILLION dollars

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/25/us/25poll.html?pagewanted=print

George W. Bush immediately reversed Clinton’s policy in order to revive Reagan’s, once again showering an embarrassment of riches on the already most embarrassingly rich, his “base” as he calls them. He ladled out some $630 billion in tax cuts to the top 1% of income earners. In true Republican fashion, they returned the favor by investing over $200 million to ensure Bush’s re-election. Do the math. A $630 billion return on a $200 million investment: $3,160 for $1. I’ll give you $3,160. All I ask is that you give me $1 back so I can keep the goodness flowing. Do we have a deal? Republicans know return on investment.

But the cost to the public has been a return to the exploding deficits of the Reagan years. Bush blew through Clinton’s surplus in his first year. The 2004 deficit reached $415 billion, a record. Still, its real size is masked by the fact that Bush has shifted $150 billion from the Social Security trust fund in order to make the shortfall look smaller. It’s like pretending you’re richer when you move money from one pocket to another. Both sums have to be repaid, so the real amount borrowed is the $415 billion “nominal” deficit plus the $150 billion from Social Security or $565 billion http://www.commondreams.org/views04/1022-26.htm

Who is ruining what?

Under Bill Clinton, the nation had the lowest crime rate in decades http://clinton5.nara.gov/WH/Accomplishments/eightyears-06.html

Under George W Bush the crime rate in America has sky-rocketed
http://www.nhi.org/online/issues/137/urbanneglect.html

Who is ruining what?

The trade deficit under Bill Clinton was under control. Under George Bush its out of control

http://www.ppionline.org/ppi_ci.cfm?knlgAreaID=107&subsecID=295&contentID=252964

Do any of you loyal Bushies like the fact that 30 percent of all the debt that Bush has run up is owned by China? Where is the money going to come from when Bush pisses off China and they demand payment on the spot?

Who is ruining what?

What political party was in office on August 6, 2001, when a Presidential Daily Briefing titled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike Inside the United States" was handed to George Bush? After the briefing Bush told his briefer "there, now you've covered your ass" and he promptly went fishing.

Just over 30 days after that briefing, 3 jets slammed into three buildings killing nearly 3,000 people. What did George Bush do? He sat in a Florida class room reading a book about a goat while the towers fell.

Who is ruining what?

What political party lied to the American public about the threats to America posed by Saddam Hussein and then invaded a sovereign nation who had nothing to do with 9/11?

what political party made these statements

“Major combat operations are over.” (George Bush, USS Abraham Lincoln, May 1, 2003)

“There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction.”
(Dick Cheney, August 26, 2002).

There is a “sinister nexus between Iraq and the Al Qaeda terrorist network.”
(Colin Powell, UN Security Council, February 5, 2003)

“We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.” (Dick Cheney, March 16, 2003).

“We know where [the WMDs] are. They are in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad.”
(Donald Rumsfeld, March 30, 2003)

“I think they’re in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency.”
(Dick Cheney, June 20, 2005)

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me... you can’t get fooled again.” (George W. Bush).

Iraq has 26,000 liters of anthrax, 38,000 liters of botulinum toxin, 1,000,000 pounds of sarin, mustard and VX gas, 30,000 munitions to deliver these agents. (“Disarm Saddam Hussein,” whitehouse.gov)

What political party has pissed away more than $400 BILLION dollars (thats more than 2 billion a week) fighting in an intractable war in Iraq that the United States had no business gettingi into? http://costofwar.com/index-public-education.html

What political party and its mouthpieces at Faux Noise Network and Rush LImbaugh demonize any and all who question the intelligence of the moves to begin the war in Iraq?

Who is ruining what?

What political party is responsible for 3,455 confirmed American deaths in Iraq?
http://icasualties.org/oif/

Who is ruining what?

What political party said they were going to "smoke out and git" Osama bin Laden after the 9/11 attacks?? And then what political party made these statements about OBL?

The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him."
- G.W. Bush, 9/13/01

"I want justice...There's an old poster out West, as I recall, that said, 'Wanted: Dead or Alive,'"
- G.W. Bush, 9/17/01, UPI

"...Secondly, he is not escaping us. This is a guy, who, three months ago, was in control of a county [sic]. Now he's maybe in control of a cave. He's on the run. Listen, a while ago I said to the American people, our objective is more than bin Laden. But one of the things for certain is we're going to get him running and keep him running, and bring him to justice. And that's what's happening. He's on the run, if he's running at all. So we don't know whether he's in cave with the door shut, or a cave with the door open -- we just don't know...."
- Bush, in remarks in a Press Availablity with the Press Travel Pool,
The Prairie Chapel Ranch, Crawford TX, 12/28/01, as reported on
official White House site

"I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority."
- G.W. Bush, 3/13/02

"I am truly not that concerned about him."
- G.W. Bush, repsonding to a question about bin Laden's whereabouts,
3/13/02 (The New American, 4/8/02)

Who is ruining what?

What was the nationality of 15 of the 19 hijackers on 9/11?? Saudi Arabian ...and what political party and political family has been in bed financially with the Saudis and the bin Laden family? Salem bin Laden, Osama’s brother, has conducted all his American affairs through James Bath, a Houston crony of the Bush family. Bath’s former business partner Bill White testified in court that Bath had been a liaison for the C.I.A. In 1979 Bath invested $50,000 in Arbusto, George W. Bush’s first business venture. Rumor had it that Bath was acting as Salem bin Laden’s representative. "In conflicting statements, Bush at first denied ever knowing Bath, then acknowledged his stake in Arbusto and that he was aware Bath represented Saudi interests."http://www.hermes-press.com/BushSaud.htm

Who is ruining what?

What political party sat on its thumbs as one large American city drowned in the aftermath of a hurricane ?? http://thinkprogress.org/katrina-timeline And what political party was responsible for cutting the funds needed to reinforce the levees around New Orleans in the years before Katrina struck?

Blumenthal's much-quoted article in salon.com carried the headline: "No one can say they didn't see it coming." And it said the Bush administration cut flood-control funding "to pay for the Iraq war."

He continues:

Blumenthal: With its main levee broken, the evacuated city of New Orleans has become part of the Gulf of Mexico . But the damage wrought by the hurricane may not entirely be the result of an act of nature.

…By 2003 the federal funding for the flood control project essentially dried up as it was drained into the Iraq war. In 2004, the Bush administration cut funding requested by the New Orleans district of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers for holding back the waters of Lake Pontchartrain by more than 80 percent. Additional cuts at the beginning of this year…forced the New Orleans district of the Corps to impose a hiring freeze.

We can confirm that funding was cut. The project most closely associated with preventing flooding in New Orleans was the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers’ Hurricane Protection Project, which was “designed to protect residents between Lake Pontchartrain and the Missisippi River levee from surges in Lake Pontchartrain,” according to a fact sheet from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. (The fact sheet is dated May 23, long before Katrina). The multi-decade project involved building new levees, enlarging existing levees, and updating other protections like floodwalls. It was scheduled to be completed in 2015.

Over at least the past several budget cycles, the Corps has received substantially less money than it requested for the Lake Pontchartrain project, even though Congress restored much of the money the President cut from the amount the Corps requested.

In fiscal year 2004, the Corps requested $11 million for the project. The President’s budget allocated $3 million, and Congress furnished $5.5 million. Similarly, in fiscal 2005 the Corps requested $22.5 million, which the President cut to $3.9 million in his budget. Congress increased that to $5.5 million. “This was insufficient to fund new construction contracts,” according to a U.S. Army Corps of Engineers’ project fact sheet. The Corps reported that “seven new contracts are being delayed due to lack funds” [sic].

Who is ruining what?

I could go on and on with other examples of how the Repugnican Party has been negligent in its repsonbilities to the American public ever since it first took over the reins of the Congress in 1995, but to do so would be counter productive. Each of you who believes the tripe in the diatribe below has to find that out on your own.

To that end I suggest that you 1) stop listening to Faux News as your source of "news". 2) stop listening to Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh who, by their own admissions, are entertainment not news.

I would also suggest that you start frequenting news sources like the New York Times, and news blogs such as http://thinkprogress.org, http://www.huffingtonpost.com, www.dailykos.com, www.michaelmoore.com, www.salon.com http://mediamatters.org
Get your facts and get them verified and like Martin Luther King once said "the truth shall set you free."

And unlike the diatribe writer below i will not end this with "God Bless America." I prefer that God bless everyone, no exceptions.

"Bloody Singapore"

Passing through immigration from Poipet, Cambodia to Thailand on October 25, 2006, I got into a conversation with a couple of expatriated Brits who had been living in Bangkok for several years. Like most Brits they had opinions about everything but these two had the most opinions about Singapore.

"Bloody Singapore," the tall one said. "Did you know its illegal to get a blow job in Singapore? What's wrong with those wankers? Maybe if they got a good blow job occasionally they wouldn't make them illegal!"

He had a point.

A Quote to Ponder

"He who never leaves his country is full of prejudices"...Carlo Goldoni

And in the United States with only 11 percent of its residents in possession of a passport you can understand why the country is so overfilled with prejudices about those in other countries.

Bush's Draft Dodge

(click on the post title for the story)
Center for American Progress senior fellow Lawrence Korb and research associate Max Bergmann write in today’s Los Angeles Times that if Bush wants to maintain his escalation, he should call for reinstating the draft.

That would be the responsible path. Yet the president will never call for the draft. He knows the country would never support the level of sacrifice for this war that implementing a draft would demand. But this is one of the very reasons why the all-volunteer Army was designed the way it was — to prevent a commander in chief from fighting a war that lacks the support of the public.

If the president is committed to fighting the war in Iraq over the long term, instead of simply running out the clock on his presidency, he should have the courage of his convictions and call for reinstating the draft. If not, the only responsible course is to set a timetable to bring the troops home.

Military Confirms 8 More Dead in Iraqnam

(click on the post title for the story)

I'm sure being the compassionately conservative "christian" that you are you will be attending the funerals of each of these kids who died for your lies.

Heckuva job, Dubya.

An Inconvenient Truth Sequel in Theaters by November 2008

(click on the post title for the story)
Now...why would the producer of An Inconvenient Truth want the sequel to that movie to be available for voters to see BEFORE the November 2008 election? Interesting.

Maybe he just wants to help make sure that those of us calling Al Gore the real president of the United States now, are still calling him that on January 20, 2009?

Just a thought.

Oregon Activist Sentenced to 12 Years for Protecting the Earth

(click on the post title for the story)

Calling someone protecting the earth a "terrorist" is such bullshit!!

More Repugnican Rectal Reasoning

Rachel Louise Carson (May 27, 1907 — April 14, 1964) was an American marine biologist whose landmark book, Silent Spring, is often credited with having launched the global environmental movement. Silent Spring had an immense effect in the United States, where it spurred a reversal in national pesticide policy. She was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Despite all of the many contributions Rachel Carson made to humankind, Senator Tom Coburn, a pustule on the anus of life from Oklahoma, has held up a measure in the Senate to honor Rachel Carson on the occasion of what would have been her 100th birthday. All because she spoke out on the side of human beings in the fight to protect us all from the ravages of pesticides. You can read more about this travesty by clicking on the post title.

The good Senator from Oklahoma needs to drink a liter of DDT this weekend and then call us all on Monday morning to tell us how little effect it has had on his system.

You can call Senator Coburn at 202-224-5754 and tell him where to shove it if you'd like.

Fuck you Senator.

Bush and Horse Country

A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled,

"Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen."

A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him.

A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Mrs. Bush appeared on the television.

"She's a horse's ass too," said the man.

This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool.

"Damn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Bush country!"

"Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"

What Repugnican Lies and Liars Look Like

“Major combat operations are over.” (George Bush, USS Abraham Lincoln, May 1, 2003)

“There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction.”
(Dick Cheney, August 26, 2002).

There is a “sinister nexus between Iraq and the Al Qaeda terrorist network.”
(Colin Powell, UN Security Council, February 5, 2003)

“We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.” (Dick Cheney, March 16, 2003).

“We know where [the WMDs] are. They are in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad.”
(Donald Rumsfeld, March 30, 2003)

“I think they’re in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency.”
(Dick Cheney, June 20, 2005)

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me... you can’t get fooled again.” (George W. Bush).

Iraq has 26,000 liters of anthrax, 38,000 liters of botulinum toxin, 1,000,000 pounds of sarin, mustard and VX gas, 30,000 munitions to deliver these agents. (“Disarm Saddam Hussein,” whitehouse.gov)

Osama bin Forgotten

If you go to www.google.com and type in the words "Osama bin Forgotten" you'll get 900,000 hits. Thats not for the guy's real name - Osama bin Laden. Nope. Its for what Bush has made of him in his hunt to "smoke out and git" turists. What a pathetic joke that little bastard is. I cannot wait for his war crime trials to begin.

For Security Reasons

If you have been paying attention while flying of late, you constantly hear flight attendents and others in airports tell you that this or that cannot be done "for security reasons." This is akin to my friend Jon's comment about the Transportation Security Agency announcements in airports warning us that we are under threat level "orange" but nobody can tell you what threat level orange is for (other than to scare people into voting for Repugnicans in the 2006 elections ... and we know how that worked!!!).

On Sunday, May 20, I flew on Northwest Airlines from Minneapolis back to Washington DC. Not long after taking off we were informed that "for security reasons" nobody was allowed to use the forward restroom in First Class (where I was seated) during the last 30 minutes of the flight. This was a new and innovative line to scare people on planes that I'd not heard before. It was also very curious to me. So, not long after taking off, I hit the flight attendent call button and the f/a (with a crew cut so he was no doubt a loyal Bushie Repugnican) darted over to me in seat 4A. The conversation went like this:

Me: I heard you say that for security reasons we are not allowed to use the forward head during the last thirty minutes of the flight. Is that right?

F/A. Yes, thats right.

Me: Can you tell me what the security reason is?

F/A. Huh?

Me: You said we cant use the forward head for the last thirty minutes of the flight because of security reasons. I'd like to know what security reason forbids me from taking a dump 29 minutes out of National airport.

F/A. Sir, if you have to use the restroom in the last thirty minutes of the flight you can use one of those in the aft section of the plane.

Me: Thanks. I'm glad to know that and my bowels feel better already. However I still dont know what security reason keeps me from using the forward head.

The flight attendent is now visibly upset because I have him by the short hairs and he doesn't know how to answer me.

F/A. Sir, you just cant use the forward restroom for the last thirty minutes of the flight.

Me: If you remember correctly, the old rule that forbade anyone from standing up on a flight into Washington during the last 30 minutes of a flight into the city or the first 30 minutes of a flight out of the city was rescinded in June 2005.

F/A. It was?

Me: Yup. I remember when it happened. There is no security reason is there.

The flight attendent turned around and walked away.

I've written to Northwest Airlines to complain. As if those loyal Bushies give a damn.

Its high time that we the people stand up to the bullshit being spewed by the Bush Administration in the name of keeping we the people scared all the time. Dipshits on airplanes who cant explain their threats are a great place to start.

George Bush - Helping Osama 24/7

(click on the post title for a link to the story)
This is really encouraging news!!!and here is the most telling sentence in the entire story

A major CIA effort launched last year to hunt down Osama bin Laden has produced no significant leads on his whereabouts, but has helped track an alarming increase in the movement of Al Qaeda operatives and money into Pakistan's tribal territories, according to senior U.S. intelligence officials familiar with the operation.

All of this occurs only because our cocaine-cowboy in the White House is too fucking stupid to read the handwriting on the walls. Georgie your little experiment in shoving democracy down the throat of a nation that doesn't want it has FAILED. Just like everything you have ever touched from being a cheerleader at Andover to Arbusto Oil Company to your ownership of the Texas Rangers. You have failed. Unfortunately now, however, your failure has cost more than 3,400 American kids their lives, its bankrupted our economy and caused the number of terrorist acts world wide to increase. All because you are too ignorant to listen to someone other than your fucking dog Barney

Heckuva job, asshole.

In His New Book, President Al Gore Eviscerates the Chimp

(click on the post title for a link to the story)

This is the best saying in the entire story: In the book, Gore is accusatory, passionate, and angry. He begins discussing the president by accusing him of sharing President Richard Nixon's unprincipled hunger for power -- and the book proceeds to get less complimentary from there. YES!

A Chimp-Point to Ponder

Through all of the bluff, bluster, and hubris related to the illegal firing of United States Attorney's we the people have constantly been told that US Attorney's "serve at the pleasure of the President."

Well, I just thought of something that hasn't been pointed out much in the MSM or elsewhere. The "president" serves at the pleasure of the American people and right now the people are less than pleased. Its unfortunate the Chimp doesn't catch on to this and more importantly its unfortunate that the conservative-biased media don't get it either.

Plan Now for Al Gore's January 20, 2009 House Warming Party

It will be held here at Al and Tipper's new residence. Be there or be talked about.

No Jimmy You Were RIGHT

No Jimmy. Do not back down from the Chimp. Rather than your comments being careless, they were right on. You have more integrity in your fingernail clippings than the Chimp will accumulate in his entire, wretched, life time. Keep doing the right thing and lambaste the Chimp at each and every opportunity (which, obviously, is each time he opens his mouth).

Why Isn't This Man In An Insane Asylum?

The look on its face certainly suggests some reduced mental capacity. Where are the guys in white suits driving a truck with padded walls when we really need them??

HELP!!

P.S. Thank you Matt Drudge for this authoritative picture of our presidunce.

A Future for the Chimp

Salt Lake Tribune

By Bill Ferguson
Knight Ridder-Newspapers

Every great career eventually comes to an end, and when you're the president of these United States, you only get eight years (at most) to accomplish everything you set out to do. Then you're an ex-president for the rest of your life. I'll bet that ex-presidents, like most retired people, find it to be something of a shock to have all that time on their hands when they leave the working world. So they find things to do. They work on their memoirs. They build libraries. They give speeches. They support their favorite charitable causes.

But what about our current president? His term will be up before he knows it, and then it's back to private life. I'm afraid the transition will be especially difficult for [George W]. He is a man of action, and I worry about how he'll adjust to a life out of the spotlight. I think that we, as a nation, owe Bush more than the customary parting gifts of an enormous pension and round-the-clock Secret Service protection when he leaves office. I think we can do better for him.

I think we should put him to work, and I know just where he ought to go. Iraq. There is no question that Iraq will be the legacy of President Bush's tenure, and there is also no doubt that there will still be a lot of work to do there when he leaves office. I believe we should allow Bush an opportunity to stick with the job even after his term expires.

The next president should appoint George W. Bush to be a special envoy to Iraq and charge him with the responsibility to oversee all American interests there, advise the new Iraqi government, and maintain the morale of American troops who are carrying out the war effort. The position should be a permanent one, and he would not leave until the "hard work" of helping Iraq to establish a working democratic government has been accomplished. Or until he leaves this mortal coil. Whichever comes first.

But surely he needs some trusted advisors by his side at all times, and the first two names that immediately spring to mind are Dick Cheney and Don Rumsfeld. These men have been instrumental in the planning and execution of the Iraq campaign from the beginning, and I can only imagine how much more effective their work could be if they were onsite 24/7 right where the action is, getting their hands dirty in the cause of spreading freedom to that dark corner of the world.

I know this assignment would be dangerous. The three senior freedom fighters would be huge targets for the forces of evil in Iraq , and there is a real possibility that one or more of them might meet with an untimely demise in that chaotic environment. But as Bush has reminded us time and again, the price is high but our cause is just. Freedom is not free. I expect that all three men would be ready and willing to undertake their assignments in the battle zone despite the extreme danger they would face. This would be a chance to show the world that they are willing to put their own lives, and not just the lives of others, on the line for what they know to be right.

So let's start a campaign to send the Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld team to Iraq in 2008. They deserve the opportunity to "finish the job" in Iraq , and I think that the sight of the three of them tooling around the streets of Baghdad in a lightly armored Humvee would do a lot to improve the morale of all Americans.

In the Shadow of the Master

"There are some who can live without wild things and some who cannot..." So began Aldo Leopold's classic and earth-changing book A Sand County Almanac

Friday afternoon, May 18, I visited the Aldo Leopold Foundation along the Wisconsin River in Sauk County, Wisconsin. This is on the 300 acres of land that during the 30s and 40s, Leopold borrowed for a few years while he was alive (he would, of course, argue that nobody but the earth "owns" the earth). The highlight of Friday afternoon was visiting "The Shack". I can't count how many times I have read A Sand County Almanac and absorbed what Leopold was saying while at his sand county shack. It was pretty ethereal touching the same wood that Leopold touched and walking the same trails that he walked. But, no, I didn't use the same outhouse he used (despite it being there). Its pretty cool to look at pictures of his land in the 30s when they bought it....stark and barren like the Red River Valley of North Dakota ....and compare it to the bounty of plants growing there today. Some of the red pines that he and his family planted in the 30s are pretty large now...in fact....the buildings for the Leopold legacy center are all made out of trees harvested from the property.

I really enjoyed listening to Pine Warblers sing from pine trees that wouldn't be there were it not for Leopold's concern for the earth, and Ovenbirds belting out their "teacher teacher teacher" from hardwood forest that had no chance of surviving the ravages of those who exploit the earth for profit rather than nurture it. The one thing I wanted to do here but it didn't happen was to sit on Leopold's bench and watch, as he wrote, an Indigo Bunting trying "to outblue the Bluebirds." There were Bluebirds here but no Indigo Buntings. Also if you remember him talking about "The Good Oak"...you can walk to the place where it once lived before it was killed by a bolt of lightning.

The thing that struck me the most was the realization of how ephemeral we all are and how little time we have to make a difference. Leopold certainly made a difference and he made a huge impression on me. He did for many people. In less than the blink of an eye in geological terms Leopold was gone. He was felled by a heart attack while fighting a prairie fire in April 1948. Luckiliy for us and for the earth, however, his legacy lives on and his philosophy is enshrined big time at the Leopold Foundation/ Legacy Center.

One of Leopold's objectives in buying his "domain" along the Wisconsin River was to use his land as a living laboratory to perfect techniques for restoring habitats - putting Mother Earth back together after she'd been torn apart for short-term profits. Given what we know now about the science of Restoration Ecology, Leopold was, as usual, years ahead of his time.

If you read A Sand County Almanac closely you will discover that Leopold had a deep appreciation for Sandhill Cranes (as does anyone who has ever worked with Cranes). In Leopold's time the Sandhill Crane had become exceedingly scarce on the Wisconsin landscape. Wetland drainage had done its horrible deed and there was less and less crane habitat. I saw my first Sandhill Crane in 1969 at the Crex Meadows Wildlife Management Area in Burnett County Wisconsin. At the time it was one of the few places in the State where they existed.

Since then, cranes have rebounded because of habitat restoration. Areas of corn that were once wetlands have been converted back to wetlands and cranes have responded. They are now breeding in many areas of Wisconsin, even within spitting distance of the Milwaukee metropolitan area. The success of habitat resotration efforts, especially wetland restoration, was evident to me this morning, May 20, while driving on Interstate 90-94 toward the Madison airport. At an area about even with Mile Marker 100, and about 2 miles straight west of Leopold's shack, I saw a small group of Sandhill Cranes foraging in a corn field. With them was the most majestic of all cranes - a Whooping Crane. This bird was part of the effort to re-establish Whooping Cranes as a breeding bird in Wisconsin (the first wild hatched Whooping Crane in more than 100 years in Wisconsin, hatched in Adams County last year). I thought it was extremely ironic to be so close to Leopold's shack where he devoted so much time learning about habitat restoration, and then to see a Whooping Crane - a bird that had not been in the state for more than 100 years at the time Leopold lived - within spitting distance of his 'Great Marsh." Talk about sending goose bumps up and down your spine!

If you have the chance to get to this part of Wisconsin, stop by the Foundation and visit the Legacy Center (click on the post title to be directed to the Foundation's website). They provide guided tours of Leopold's land where you can walk in his tracks and learn where the master learned to be the master. If you're so inclined, drop some money in an envelope and send it to the Foundation to become a member. I did it and it was pretty painless. Who knows, maybe something purchased with money you contributed will make a differnce in the mind of a 4th grader who visits the Shack and turns into another Aldo Leopold because of the experience.

Gore Hasn't "Ruled Out" Run for White House

(click on the post title for the story)
This is fantabulous news. Granted, Al hasn't come out (yet) and said "I'm running" but he certainly hasn't said "hell no, ain't gonna happen" (actually that sounds like something Chimpy McFlightsuit would say - not an educated person like Gore).

I have my fingers and toes and eyes crossed that Al runs. Right now he's in the spotlight and not spending a penny on advertising. Next week his book comes out and that will be more exposure and press. Then in July he hosts the Live Earth concert that will bring together two billion (with a B) people around the world to heighten awareness of global warming and more coverage will follow.

Then in October Al will receive the Nobel Peace Prize. What a novel concept for a world leader to practice - peace.

I'm hoping that by October both Hillary (who in their right mind supports her anyway?) and Obama will have savaged each other to the point where they are impotent. That will leave only John Edwards (whom I now support) as the only leader. However John will be portrayed as too sanguine to be President. There will be no front runner on our side.

Then, in Oslo, Al picks up the Nobel Prize. He gives his acceptance speech, and then, at the end, clears his throat and says, "oh, by the way, I'm also announcing today my intention to win my second term as the elected President of the United States."

There will be a collective pants filling on the part of the Republic Party candidates but Al will come home, kick ass, take names, and be inaugurated on January 20,2009 at 12:01 p.m.

Count on it.

Ding Dong The Creep Is Dead

The porcine hate-monger from Lynchburg is finally tits up. Couldn't happen to a bigger asshole. I hope he's enjoying the warmth of hell (assuming it exists) for all of the hateful nastiness this bastard spewed in his "christian" life. Fuck you Jerry. You got what you deserved.

Is he [the Antichrist] alive and here today? Probably. Because when he appears during the Tribulation period he will be a full-grown counterfeit of Christ. Of course he’ll be Jewish. Of course he’ll pretend to be Christ. And if in fact the Lord is coming soon, and he’ll be an adult at the presentation of himself, he must be alive somewhere today.”
-Rev. Jerry Falwell at a conference in Kingsport , Tenn. , 14 Jan. 1999

We, the Order of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, reverentially acknowledge the majesty and supremacy of Almighty God and recognize His goodness and providence through Jesus Christ our Lord.
-Ku Klux Klan creed (from the Constitution and Laws of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan )
The idea that religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.
-Rev. Jerry Falwell

If you're not a born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

This is probably as bad a day as the court has had on social issues since "Roe v Wade."
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, reacting to the Supreme Court's ruling in the Texas sodomy case, "Lawrence v. Texas," wherein the high court upheld an individual's (or a couple's) right to privacy; "It is a promise of the Constitution that there is a realm of personal liberty which the government may not enter," said Justice Anthony M Kennedy, for the majority in an opinion "as broad in its constitutional vision as any ever issued by the court," wrote Charles Lane for The Washington Post; in his dissent, Justice Antonin Scalia, an extremist Evangelical Christian, complained that the justices voting to uphold the right to privacy were creating a new constitutional right, that they were not upholding the Constitution, quoted from "Planned Parenthood Federal Action Report" (July, 2003) ††

I had a student ask me, "Could the savior you believe in save Osama bin Laden?" Of course, we know the blood of Jesus Christ can save him, and then he must be executed.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, cited in Cary McMullen, "Falwell: Now Is the Time for Gospel," in the Lakeland (Florida) Ledger (November 12, 2001), quoted from Randy Cassingham, This is True (18 November 2001). Falwell added: "We visit prisoners on death row, and some of them are saved, but we believe their sentences should be carried out because they have a debt to society."

God continues to lift the curtain and allow the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, blaming civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, to which Rev Pat Robertson agreed, quoted from John F Harris, "God Gave US 'What We Deserve,' Falwell Says," The Washington Post (September 14, 2001)

The ACLU's got to take a lot of blame for this.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, blaming civil libertarians for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, to which Rev Pat Robertson again agreed, quoted from AANEWS #958 by American Atheists (September 14, 2001)

And, I know that I'll hear from them for this. But, throwing God out successfully with the help of the federal court system, throwing God out of the public square, out of the schools. The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize America -- I point the finger in their face and say, "You helped this happen."
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, blaming civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, quoted from John F Harris, "God Gave US 'What We Deserve,' Falwell Says," The Washington Post (September 14, 2001)

I sincerely believe that the collective efforts of many secularists during the past generation, resulting in the expulsion from our schools and from the public square, has left us vulnerable.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, after the 700 Club broadcast wherein he had blamed civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, speaking to The New York Times, quoted from Dick Meyer, "Holy Smoke," CBS News (September 15, 2001)

I put all the blame legally and morally on the actions of the terrorist, [but America's] secular and anti-Christian environment left us open to our Lord's [decision] not to protect. When a nation deserts God and expels God from the culture ... the result is not good.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, backpedaling amidst criticism of his statement blaming civil libertarians, feminists, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, quoted from John F Harris, "God Gave US 'What We Deserve,' Falwell Says," The Washington Post (September 14, 2001)

Pat, did you notice yesterday the ACLU, and all the Christ-haters, People For the American Way, NOW, etc. were totally disregarded by the Democrats and the Republicans in both houses of Congress as they went out on the steps and called out on to God in prayer and sang "God Bless America" and said "let the ACLU be hanged"? In other words, when the nation is on its knees, the only normal and natural and spiritual thing to do is what we ought to be doing all the time -- calling upon God.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, justifying the breech of Constitutional Separation of Religion from Government while blaming civil libertarians for the terrorist attacks of Tuesday, September 11, 2001, to which Rev Pat Robertson again agreed, quoted from AANEWS #958 by American Atheists (September 14, 2001)

I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won't have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, America Can Be Saved, 1979 pp. 52-53, from Albert J Menendez and Edd Doerr, The Great Quotations on Religious Freedom

AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.
-- Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

The idea that religion and politics don't mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, Sermon, July 4, 1976

If we are going to save America and evangelize the world, we cannot accommodate secular philosophies that are diametrically opposed to Christian truth ... We need to pull out all the stops to recruit and train 25 million Americans to become informed pro-moral activists whose voices can be heard in the halls of Congress.
I am convinced that America can be turned around if we will all get serious about the Master's business. It may be late, but it is never too late to do what is right. We need an old-fashioned, God-honoring, Christ-exalting revival to turn American back to God. America can be saved!
-- Jerry Falwell, "Moral Majority Report" for September, 1984

It appears that America's anti-Biblical feminist movement is at last dying, thank God, and is possibly being replaced by a Christ-centered men's movement which may become the foundation for a desperately needed national spiritual awakening.
-- Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

There is no separation of church and state. Modern US Supreme Courts have raped the Constitution and raped the Christian faith and raped the churches by misinterpreting what the Founders had in mind in the First Amendment to the Constitution.
-- Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

The Bible is the inerrant ... word of the living God. It is absolutely infallible,without error in all matters pertaining to faith and practice, as well as in areas such as geography, science, history, etc.
-- Jerry Falwell, Finding Inner Peace and Strength

But these things speak evil of those things, verse 10 [reading from Jude] which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves. Look at the Metropolitan Community Church today, the gay church, almost accepted into the World Council of Churches. Almost, the vote was against them. But they will try again and again until they get in, and the tragedy is that they would get one vote. Because they are spoken of here in Jude as being brute beasts, that is going to the baser lust of the flesh to live immorally, and so Jude describes this as apostasy. But thank God this vile and satanic system will one day be utterly annihilated and there'll be a celebration in heaven.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, "Old Time Gospel Hour" broadcast, March 11, 1984, quoted by Rev Jerry Sloan, "Is Jerry Falwell a liar?" Freedom Writer, September, 1994

The Jews are returning to their land of unbelief. They are spiritually blind and desperately in need of their Messiah and Savior.
-- Jerry Falwell, Listen, America!

Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.
-- Jerry Falwell, on CNN's Crossfire, May 17, 1997

I do not believe the homosexual community deserves minority status. One's misbehavior does not qualify him or her for minority status. Blacks, Hispanics, women, etc., are God-ordained minorities who do indeed deserve minority status.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, USA Today Chat, quoted from The Religious Freedom Coalition, "The Two faces of Jerry Falwell"

Dan Moldea, the lead investigator for Larry Flynt's ongoing quest to uncover sexual indiscretions of Republican congressional members, has now admitted he was hired by the law firm defending President Clinton.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, from "The Bizarre Flynt-Clinton Connection," in the January 15, 1999, "Falwell Confidential" fax report to 162,000 members, referring to the firm Williams & Connolly. Dan Moldea responded, "This entire statement is false and misleading, reckless and malicious. It is a complete fabrication." However, the San Diego Union-Tribune picked up the fabrication and ran it as fact. Quoted from The Religious Freedom Coalition, "The Two faces of Jerry Falwell."

We're fighting against humanism, we're fighting against liberalism ... we are fighting against all the systems of Satan that are destroying our nation today ... our battle is with Satan himself.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

Billy Graham is the chief servant of Satan.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)


The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals. To oppose it would be like an Israelite jumping in the Red Sea to save one of Pharoah's chariotters.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell (attributed: source unknown)

You'll be riding along in an automobile. You'll be the driver perhaps. You're a Christian. There'll be several people in the automobile with you, maybe someone who is not a Christian. When the trumpet sounds you and the other born-again believers in that automobile will be instantly caught away -- you will disappear, leaving behind only your clothes and physical things that cannot inherit eternal life. That unsaved person or persons in the automobile will suddenly be startled to find the car suddenly somewhere crashes.... Other cars on the highway driven by believers will suddenly be out of control and stark pandemonium will occur on ... every highway in the world where Christians are caught away from the drivers wheel.
-- Rev Jerry Falwell, in his pamphlet, "Nuclear War and the Second Coming of Christ," quoted from Ronnie Dugger,"Does Reagan Expect a Nuclear Armageddon?" in Washington Post Outlook (April 8, 1984)

Repugnican Quotes of the Week

May 02, 2007

GOP Quotes of the Week, Iraq Veto Edition

Judging from the latest deluge of egregious gaffes, blunders and banality from the conservative chattering class, Stephen Colbert was certainly right that "reality has a well-known liberal bias." President Bush's wildly unpopular war funding veto, the continued entropy in Iraq, George Tenet's revisionist history and the rhetorical mishaps of 2008 GOP hopefuls combined to produce a hilarious - and disturbing - mix of Republican verbal psychosis.

Here, then, are the latest GOP Quotes of the Week:

Between Iraq and a Hard Place

"I'm the commander guy."
President Bush, May 2, 2007.

"Either we'll succeed, or we won't succeed."
President Bush, May 2, 2007.

"Imagine my beloved St. Louis Cardinals are playing the much despised Chicago Cubs. The Cardinals are are up by five, finishing the top of the ninth. Is this a cause for celebration?"
Rep. John Shimkus (R-IL), comparing Iraq withdrawal to a baseball game, May 2, 2007.

"The president never said 'mission accomplished'...We did prevail, in terms of toppling the Iraqi army and Saddam Hussein."
Dana Perino, asked about President Bush's statement four years ago that the "United States and our allies have prevailed" in Iraq, May 1, 2007.

"[There] is something of an al-Qaida surge going on."
Ryan Crocker, U.S. Ambassador to Iraq, May 1, 2007.

"That would put a kid in harms way, more so than he or she already is."
President Bush, on how withdrawing U.S. troops from Iraq would put them in greater danger, April 27, 2007.

"If the standard of success is no car bombings or suicide bombings, we have just handed those who commit suicide bombings a huge victory."
President Bush, April 25, 2007.

"I think Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are getting very, very close to treason."
Tom Delay, April 24, 2007.

Republican Revisionist History

"It makes no sense to tell the enemy when you plan to start withdrawing."
President Bush, May 1, 2007.

"I think it's also important for the president to lay out a timetable as to how long they will be involved and when they will be withdrawn."
Candidate George W. Bush, regarding U.S. troops in Kosovo, June 5, 1999.

"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is."
Candidate George W. Bush, regarding U.S. troops in Kosovo, April 9, 1999.

"So America will hold the Iraqi government to the benchmarks it has announced."
President Bush, January 10, 2007.

"To begin now to tie our own hands and to say 'We must do this if they don't do that' doesn't allow us the flexibility and creativity that we need to move this forward...That's the problem with having so-called consequences."
Condi Rice, April 29, 2007.

"I don't know what we were supposed to preemptively strike in Afghanistan."
Secretary of State Rice, trying to rebut George Tenet's assertion that she ignored his July 2001 warnings about Al Qaeda, April 29, 2007.

"I will never give that medal back."
George Tenet, on the Medal of Freedom presented to him by President Bush, May 1, 2007.

"You had the impression that some Office of the Vice President and DOD reps were writing Chalabi's name over and over again in their notes, like schoolgirls with their first crush."
George Tenet, book excerpt, April 29, 2007.

"Nobody ever called me to say, 'Why are you going to Syria with those people?'"
Rep. David Hobson (R-OH), responding to Republicans only criticizing Nancy Pelosi and Democratic members of entourage traveling to Damascus, April 24, 2007.

GOP White House Hopefuls Watch

"I'm not in favor of his religion by any means. But he wrote a book called 'Battlefield Earth' that was a very fun science-fiction book."
Mitt Romney, naming Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard's book as his favorite novel, April 30, 2007.

"It's not worth moving heaven and earth spending billions of dollars just trying to catch one person."
Mitt Romney, on capturing Osama Bin Laden, April 26, 2007.

"So I don't know where he is. You know, I just don't spend that much time on him...I truly am not that concerned about him."
President Bush, March 13, 2002.

"America will be safer with a Republican president."
Rudy Giuliani, April 24, 2007.

"I don't know the answer to that."
Rudy Giuliani, asked if the "surge" in Iraq is working, April 24, 2007.

Compassionate Conservatism

"I can't help wondering if the day may yet come when the only thing that can save this country is a military coup."
Thomas Sowell, National Review Columnist, May 1, 2007.

"Now, I'm not saying that anybody's going to -- you know Al Gore's not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however."
CNN's Glenn Beck, April 30, 2007.

"This would be America's most shameful act of immorality since slavery."
Glenn Beck, on withdrawal from Iraq, April 24, 2007.

"If you're saying it's our fault that we unmasked them as knuckle-dragging savages from the 10th century -- fine."
Fox's John Gibson, on the Iraqi people, April 23, 2007.

"They're trying to destroy Christian America and install godless order."
Don Larsen, Utah Republican Party district chairman, backing resolution blaming Satan for illegal immigration, April 30, 2007.

"I am still confused as to why they chose to lie."
Jessica Lynch, on Pentagon's false stories of her heroism, April 24, 2007.

Bush Family Values

"We thank 'American Idol' viewers who have shown the good heart of America."
President Bush, May 2, 2007.

"The president loves him and Condi absolutely loves him."
Anonymous friend of Randall Tobias, who resigned amid revelations he availed himself of the services of the DC Madam, April 27, 2007.

"No one suffers more than their President and I do.
Laura Bush, on the war in Iraq, April 25, 2007.

"There might be a little Bush fatigue now."
George H.W. Bush, April 24, 2007.

Chimp Pummeled By His Own Kind

(click on the post title for the story)
I particularly like this quote by Repugnican Congressman Tom Davis here in Northern Virginia - "Representative Tom Davis told Mr. Bush that the president’s approval rating was at 5 percent in one section of his northern Virginia district."

Personally I'm surprised the Chimp has a 5 percent approval rating here in Northern Virginia although I do occasionally see the random Humvee driving around getting 3 miles per gallon that still sports a Bush/Cheney 04 bumper sticker. So I guess the neanderthals are still among us.

The real telling part of this story will be in the next few months (as more American kids are killed for lies in Iraqnam) and the Repugnicans note that their chances of re-election in 2008 are light years worse than they were in 2006. There will be either a mass exodus of these people who suddenly realize that "I was a liberal all along" or more likely, they will simply disavow any knowledge of support for Bush and pray that pictures of them draped all over the "Commander guy" dont show up in the hands of their opponents.

Personally I love watching these repulsive bastards eat their own. If we could just get them to attack William Kristol and the feeble minded nitwits at Faux Noise Network who continue to spew glad tidings for the Chimp. Maybe that will happen next?

Stress Relief Made Easy

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress relief technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. The funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile.

1. Picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.

2. Picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water.

3. Birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.

4. No one knows your secret place.

5. You are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.

6. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

7. The water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the Repugnican you are holding underwater.

See? It really does work. You're smiling already.

Declaring the Chimp a Person

What are these people talking about? The Supreme Court already declared the Chimp the Presidunce of the United States!

What more do these nitwits want?

Honoring Soldiers Killed for Lies in Iraqnam

By Gubernatorial proclamation (click on the post title to see it), the compassionate Democratic Governor of Michigan has ordered that flags in Michigan be flown at half-staff or half-mast to honor those who have fallen.

How many compassionately conservative governors from the Republic Party have done this? Why hasn't the "commander guy" done this on a national level? If he did, of course, the flag would fly at half staff every day. Hell, Bush cant be bothered to attend the funeral of one kid he has killed in Iraqnam. How can we expect him to do something humane like even honoring them with a flag at half staff?

Go Cheney yourself, Dumbya.

Help Send Al Franken to the Senate

Click on the post title to find out how

Hillary Equals France by Bill Maher

Vive le France!

"Hillary equals France"
By Bill MaherMay 4, 2007 | New Rule:

Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every time they hear the word France. Like just calling something French is the ultimate argument winner. "Aw, you want a healthcare system that covers everybody and costs half as much? You mean like they have in France? What's there to say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully conceived and brilliantly executed war in Iraq?"

Earlier this year, the Boston Globe got hold of an internal campaign document from GOP contender Mitt Romney, and a recurring strategy was to tie Democrats to the hated French. It said, in the Machiavellian code of the election huckster, "Hillary equals France," and it envisioned bumper stickers that read, "First, not France."

Except for one thing: We're not first. America isn't ranked anywhere near first in anything except military might and snotty billionaires. The country that is ranked No. 1 in healthcare, for example, is France. The World Health Organization ranks America at 37 in the world -- not two, or five -- 37, in between Costa Rica and Slovenia, which are both years away from discovering dentistry.

Yet an American politician could not survive if he or she uttered the simple, true statement, "France has a better healthcare system than ours, and we should steal it." Because here, simply dismissing an idea as French passes for an argument. John Kerry? Can't vote for him -- he looks French. Yeah, as opposed to the other guy, who just looked stupid.
I know, if God had wanted us to learn from the Enlightenment, he wouldn't have given us Sean Hannity.

And I'm not saying France is better than America. Because I assume you've already figured that out by now. I don't want to be French, I just want to take what's best from the French. Stealing, for your own self-interest -- Republicans should love this idea. Taking what's best from the French: You know who else did that? The Founding Fathers. Hate to sink your toy boat, Fox News, but the Founding Fathers, the ones you say you revere, were children of the French Enlightenment, and fans of it, and they turned it into a musical called the Constitution of the United States. And they did a helluva job, so good it has been said that it was written by geniuses so it could be run by idiots. But the current administration is putting that to the test. The Founding Fathers were erudite, well-read, European-thinking aristocrats -- they would have had nothing in common with, and no use for, an ill-read xenophobic bumpkin like George W. Bush.

The American ideas of individuality, religious tolerance and freedom of speech came directly out of the French Enlightenment -- but, shhh, don't tell Alabama. Voltaire wrote "men are born equal" before Jefferson was wise enough to steal it.

Countries are like people -- they tend to get smarter as they get older. Noted military genius Donald Rumsfeld famously dismissed France as part of Old Europe, but the French are ... what's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah, "mature." We think they're rude and snobby, but maybe that's because they're talking to us.

For example, France just had an election, and people over there approach an election differently . They vote. Eighty-five percent turned out. The only thing 85 percent of Americans ever voted on was Sanjaya.

Maybe the high turnout has something to do with the fact that the French candidates are never asked where they stand on evolution, prayer in school, abortion, stem cell research or gay marriage. And if the candidate knows about a character in a book other than Jesus, it's not a drawback. There is no Pierre Six-pack who can be fooled by childish wedge issues. And the electorate doesn't vote for the guy they want to have a croissant with. Nor do they care about the candidate's private lives: In the current race, Ségolène Royal has four kids but never bothered to get married. And she's a socialist. In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him a liberal he immediately grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into the woods to kill something.

The conservative candidate is married, but he and his wife live apart and lead separate lives. They aren't asked about it in the media, and the people are OK with it, for the same reason the people are OK with nude beaches: because they're not a nation of 6-year-olds who scream and giggle if they see pee-pee parts. They have weird ideas about privacy. They think it should be private. In France, everyone has a mistress. Even mistresses have mistresses. To not have a lady on the side says to the voters, "I'm no good at multitasking."

France has its faults -- the country has high unemployment, a nasty immigrant problem and all that ridiculous accordion music. But its healthcare is the best, it's not dependent on Mideast oil, it has the lowest poverty rate and the lowest income-inequality rate among industrialized nations, and it's the greenest, with the lowest carbon dumping and the lowest electricity bill .

France has 20,000 miles of railroads that work. We have the trolley at the mall that takes you from Pottery Barn to the Gap. It has bullet trains. We have bullets. France has public intellectuals. We have Dr. Phil. And France invented sex during the day, the ménage à trois, lingerie and the tongue.