May 4, 1970, was a warm sunny spring day at the University of Wisconsin - River Falls. Despite the constant gnawing concern of all draft-age males of that time that somehow something would screw up and we'd be hauled off to Viet Nam not many of us gave it much thought. We had final exams coming up in a couple weeks, and then there was what to do for money over the summer break. There had been alot of unrest on campuses around the country because of the never ending war in Viet Nam. Some of the "radicals" at UW River Falls had attempted to incite some unrest but most of us were more concerned with when would we be getting laid and by whom and how soon.
At 11:27 a.m. Central Time that day I was finishing my lunch in Rodli Commons getting ready to attend a 12:00 Freshman English class upstairs in the library. While I was casually and calmly eating my lunch, about 700 miles away in northeast Ohio, the Ohio National Guard was committing murder.
The kids they were going to murder were many times the same age as the National Guardsmen who were pointing, aiming and shooting at them. All because they despised a war as immoral and unjust as the one we have today in Iraqnam. The biggest crime any of these kids committed was exercising their constitutionally protected right to freedom of speech and freedom of assembly and freedom of expression (we still had those rights back in 1970 - too bad we no longer do in 2007).
My Freshman English Class got out at 12:50 pm and in the halls of the Library there were rumors going around about a shooting on a campus somewhere but nobody really knew for sure. Nobody knew for sure but some had heard...
It was during my Art Appreciation class from 1:00 to 1:50 that afternoon that someone ran into the class room and announced at the top of their lungs that four brothers and sisters had been killed by the Ohio National Guard at Kent State University. Reports were sketchy and of course nobody had a computer or the Internet so there was no way for instant updates. What we knew was coming from the radio.
My Art professor turned white when he heard the news and immediately told eveyrone in the class to get out of South Hall and return home. We didn't know if this was a coordinated effort to attack students all over the country or what. He didn't want to take a chance on it being one.
We all left.
The Second Floor of Johnson Hall was quiet when I returned from class. Almost everyone had heard and not everyone was sure what to do. Several of the "radicals" on my floor were convinced this was the start of the revolution and prepared themselves for the worst that was sure to happen. And happen soon. Others like Gordy, at the time the most liberal person I'd ever known, got his shotgun out of his closet and waited for them to attack us at River Falls.
Of course they never did.
That evening we all huddled around the television in the basement of Johnson Hall and watched as Walter Cronkite recounted for us the events of that day. We were dumbfounded when we saw the film of the carnage and the kids laying dead and the insanity of it all.
I was raised by the former President of the Third Congressional District Republican Party in Wisconsin. She believed that it was a communist plot to name Junior High Schools "Middle Schools" because they were called Middle Schools in China. She would later believe that Richard Nixon's June 22 tapes were a communist plot. No matter what it was, if Nixon was in favor of it then my mother was in favor of it. Republicans, after all, could do no wrong.
I believed all of that bullshit until I heard about the murders at Kent State. When it sank it what had happened and I realized that what happened happened because of the conservative thinking of the Administration and the fervently anti-student rhetoric that everyone was spewing, I knew that something had to change. And what had to change was me.
May 5, 1970 dawned crystal clear and warm just like the day before. Nothing was different with the weather but there was a lot different inside me. The events of Kent State radicalized me. On May 5 I participated in my first anti-war sit in demonstration. I let my hair grow long (above the protestations of my crew-cut wearing father). I questioned everything and believed nothing. I participated in the student strike that followed the murders. I did anything and everything that I could to help the cause of ending the war and righting the wrongs that happened on Kent State that day. Some of the things I did were illegal but we wont go there.
Large and vigorous arguments with my mother ensued after the change came over me. I asked her once if it was more important for her to be right or me to be dead in a rice field in Viet Nam. She said that would never happen. I told her that her President lacked the guts to make it end so I was worried sick that it might be happening to me.
In June 1970 Crosby Stills Nash and Young came out with their blockbuster song "Ohio" that told in chilling words and haunting music about the horror of that day
Tin soldiers and Nixon coming,
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drumming,
Four dead in Ohio.
Gotta get down to it
Soldiers are cutting us down
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her
And found her dead on the ground
How can you run when you know?
Gotta get down to it
Soldiers are cutting us down
Should have been done long ago.
What if you knew her
And found her dead on the ground
How can you run when you know?
Tin soldiers and Nixon coming,
We're finally on our own.
This summer I hear the drumming,
Four dead in Ohio.
I want to think that the murders at Kent State were pivotal in turning the country's attention away from a lost cause in a far away land. I want to think their deaths energized a nation of sheep to question authority and do what could be done to stop the war. Kent State didn't end the war, but I want to think that it hastened its ending.
I have never forgotten Kent State and I never will
In 2003 I traveled to Kent State the weekend after the 33rd anniversary of the murders. I found my way to near the Hill and parked. Two twenty-something students were walking past my rental car as I exited. I asked them where was the memorial. They asked "were you here that day?" I said I wasn't here physically but I was here in spirit and today I wanted to be where I should have been then. They understood and pointed me to the Hill.
I stood there and replayed the history in my mind. I saw the murderers advancing with their fixed bayonette rifles loaded and ready to kill. I saw Jeffrey Miller marching across the green with both middle fingers flaring. I imagined the 13 seconds of carnage and started to cry when I recalled what those 13 seconds created. I wanted to scream and I did. I then walked over to the memorial in the parking lot that outlined where Jeff Miller fell.
I then walked back to the Hill where I met a Kent State freshman who was escorting his mom around the campus. I chatted with them a bit and then said that I had come to see the place that so profoundly and permanently changed my life and my outlook.
The mom, obviously a Faux Noise watching compassionate conservative said "Those god damned kids deserved what they got."
Shocked I said "All those kids did was exercise their right to freedom of speech. You're saying that is grounds for murdering them?"
She said "You're god damned right. Those fucking kids had no respect for this country and for our President and what he was trying to accomplish in Vietnam."
I knew immediately who this woman had voted for in the 2000 Presidential election.
As I was opening my mouth to answer her diatribe, her son said "Fuck you mom!! Fuck you! I can't believe how ignorant you are about something that is so important to everyone who goes to this college. Just fuck you." And he stormed away. Even though it was 33 years after the fact emotions still run strong on the Hill.
With luck we have all learned from the senseless murder of 4 kids on a college campus one May day.
For me, I cast my first vote in a Presidential election in 1972. It was a straight Democratic ticket. I've never missed an election since 1972 and I've never once voted outside the Democratic column. It didn't matter if it was someone running for dog catcher, if they were a D, they got my vote. And I will never vote outside of our column. At least I can thank Kent State for opening up my eyes to what a bunch of vile bastards the Republic Party really is.
Peace
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