Wednesday, February 6, 2008

I Decided For Faux News

Not long ago this afternoon I was walking down a major street in Arlington, Virginia, when I came upon some news event being filmed by three news crews. One was for Univision, the other for Telemundo, and the last was Faux News. As I walked by the Faux News crew interviewing someone, I accidently said "Fuck Bill O'Lielly" which I'm sure they will edit out but it still felt good to say.

After paying my respects to Billo, I crossed a street and noticed the Faux News truck sitting on a side street rather unprotected. Painted prominently on the side of the Faux News truck were the words "You Decide." So I did.

I walked up to the side of the truck and squatted down as if to pick up something I that had fallen out of my pocket. As I squatted down my pen magically leaped out of my pocket and into my hand and just like a divining rod, it pointed itself at the stem in the valve that lets air into our out of a tire.

Without paying it another thought I followed the advice on the side of the Faux News truck and decided to cause my pen to let the air out of the right front tire of the vile "news" organization's truck.

Hissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss was all I heard as the air darted out of the tire.

After completing my decision, with the truck sitting immobile at least until AAA arrived, I decided to put a smile on my face and walk to the subway and come home. Of course, being the former Boy Scout that I am I would have never even thought of such a dastardly payback had the words "You Decide" not been written on the side of the truck.

I feel so much better now having at least slowed down Faux News from distorting another story somewhere in the DC area.

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