In the last year or so the Palmetto state of South Carolina has added an obviously family-values sort of license plate that is displayed above. For the Repignicans looking at this site, the license plate says across the top "In God We Trust." Each time I have looked at that license plate since the first time I saw one it has been like waving red in front of a bull. This was especially evident last weekend when I was on Repignican-infested Hilton Head Island where "god" was apparently trusting 1/3 of the people driving on the island.
The more I thought about that license plate the more I knew I had to make a comment so I did. In the form of a letter to Mark Sandford, the Repignican Governor of the Palmetto State. The letter follows:
September 9, 2007
Mark Sandford, Governor
Box 12267
Columbia, South Carolina 29211
Dear Governor Sandford,
I just returned from a weekend in the Palmetto State hanging out among the rich and ultra-rich contributors to the Repignican Party on Hilton Head Island. Of course I'm not rich or a contributor to your party just so you know.
Anyway, Governor, while on Hilton Head I observed an inordinate number of South Carolina license plates that have the moniker "In God We Trust" written across their tops. Given the family values sort of place that South Carolina is, and the fact that you allow alleged universities like Bob Jones and the Citidel to operate inside your state's boundaries, its not surprising that you would approve legislation that would allow a religiously-biased moniker like that to be festooned on a state-sponsored license plate. Apparently the Palmetto State hasn't read the United States Constitution and its related references to the separation of church and state?
However I digress.
After seeing the umteenth "In god We Trust" license plate I began to wonder which "god" it is that South Carolinians trust. Is the "god" you trust the cosmic entity that nobody has ever seen who allegedly ran around impregnating married women named Mary back in Israel? (If so, is 'god' very family oriented if he's dipping his holy wick in married women and knocking them up? - By the way, did "god" ever pay a penny of child support for spewing his holy seed that day - or is this immaculate conception thing just another example of religious hype) Is it Allah that our Islamic brothers pray to? Do you trust him? What about Buddha? He's looked upon as a "god" by the Buddhists. Do you trust him? Or what about his congener Vishnu who keeps all those Hindus in Indian away from eating beef. Is he the "god" you trust?
As I thought about it more I also started to wonder about the atheists in South Carolina. Who do they trust? I'm not sure if you realized this, Mark, but there are lots of "gods" and demi-gods out there. Even a few dieties. The ancient Mayans in what is now Guatemala used to view the bird named Resplendent Quetzal as a diety so maybe you are all trusting a bird?
This is something that has me totally perplexed and I wanted to ask for your guidance and insight. Whose "god" do you trust and if you don't believe in one are you screwed and can't get a license plate in South Carolina? Any learned input you could provide me on this issue would be greatly appreciated.
On another note, Mark, I wondered what plans you have for replacing Lindey Graham as Senator from the Palmetto State once he is finally outted for being gay. I made damned sure when I was in the boys room in the Hilton Head airport that Lindsey wasn't lurking behind a stall door tapping his foot on whomever sat next to him. In fact both times that I walked in the men's room I called out "Is Lindsey Graham in here" before entering. But, Mark, its going to happen and Lindsey will be exposed - maybe after he exposes himself to an undercover cop. So who will you pick to replace him? No doubt another family values "christian"? Maybe a closeted member of your party with "In "god" We Trust" slathered on his license plate?
I appreciate your time in considering the questions in my letter. I would certainly welcome your learned input into this issue. Maybe between the two of us we can help all Palmetto State residents (would that make them Palmetto Bugs by chance?) know who they should and should not trust when "god" is involved.
Sincerely yours,
Craig Faanes
'Merikan
No comments:
Post a Comment