How Bush Really Found Jesus

Just read parts 1 and 2 of Craig Unger's article on the chimp in Salon.

Kind of like this comment...


Thanks for writing this Craig, but you know what?

I think nearly everybody in America is sick to death of even contemplating George W. Bush's monkey face for even ten seconds.

Yeah, he was an asshole. Yeah, he's still and asshole. Yeah, the stories are all true. And what of it? What does it mean now?

You know where I was during the 1980 start of the oil boom? I was in Houston, learning the diamond bit business. That included everything from their design, their manufacture, their field testing, and how to run them into a hole in the ground and grind rock. That turned out to be the easy part. The hard part was having to deal with some of the most ignorant, backward, horse's ass, dumb-shit stupid oil field trash on this planet and try to hide my revulsion at everything they believed in from Jesus to John Wayne, from their idiotic dialect to their xenophobia, their racism, their chauvinism and jingoism.

I met the real "Texas Oil Men" and the more I got to know them, the more I came to realize that a lot of them were good people with a blustering facade that they wore on the outside like a suit of armor. But although they talked like right wingers, most of them secretly voted Democrat in every election. Why? Because while they talked like Republicans, they were not about to vote against their own lower-middle class best interests. These were not rich men. They were working men who usually grew up with next to nothing. I came to admire many of them for all they had done.

That little turd of a frat boy Bush picked up on their dialect. He picked up on their raunchy humor and their roustabout ways. He made himself a costume out of their culture and tried to pose as them. But he lacked authenticity. While "oil men" act tough, they are for the most part fair and compassionate people who stick to their principles.

Bush on the other hand is just a mean little shit. He thinks he's got the swagger, he's got the Copenhagen "dip" in his back jean pocket. He's got the Stetson hat. But the only people he's fooling are himself and a few suckers.

But anyway, what I wanted to say was, I'm sick of looking at him. I'm sick of hearing that phony patois of his that sounds like no real Texas, or even any real Southern accent I ever heard and I grew up in the South so I think I've heard all of them. He talks like a phony, he acts like a phony. One example: Our "Cowboy President" is deathly afraid of horses. He won't get near 'em. So it's really weird to see that little fucker in a cowboy hat and boots. Where's he going in that get-up, the dime store to ride the nickel pony?

I'm even sick of reading about what a little bastard he was when he was growing up.

So good luck with your book. I'm sure it's a good one. But I have simply had all I can take of George W. Bush and I'm counting down the days until he's on his little phony hobby ranch with Karen Hughes wiping his butt for him and tucking him in.

-- Garry Owen