PORT HURON - A mallard duck rescued by firefighters from the ice of Black River Thursday clung to life Friday, veterinarians said.The much-maligned concept of evolution is based, in part, on Darwins belief in the survival of the fittest. Related to that is the biological concept of eugenics, or removing the dumb ones from the population. In this case the dumb ones are the firefighters who wasted hundreds of dollars and risked their own safety for a duck that was too stupid to migrate south when the temperatures got cold.
Employees of the Zebra Bar watched Wednesday as the duck struggled against the ice and snow.
"He was just sitting on the middle of the ice with his head under his wings during that whole snowstorm yesterday," said Cheryl Runions, 34, a waitress at the bar. "We felt bad. We thought he was going to die."
A more intelligent response to this "crisis", if they were so worried about a dolt trying to resuce it on his own, would have been to 1) give the firemen a shotgun so they could blow away the damned duck, or 2) give the firemen a shotgun so they could blow away the foolish human who would try to rescue the duck in the first place. Doing so would have kept the principles of evolution in place and allowed for eugenics to have a huge grin on its face.